Getting Out: Reclaiming Your Turf after Abuse

Reclaiming your favorite restaurants. That song you both loved. The gym where you worked out together. Your people. It can be more than your heart (and overthinking head) can take. Too bad you can’t hide in bed and avoid the ghosts of your once-happiness…

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. And you’ve got bills to pay. Reclaiming your personal space after the end of an abusive relationship can be challenging, but it’s totally manageable. Reclaiming the rest of the world, however, might feel downright impossible.

Don’t be discouraged, though. Take a deep breath. Stop shaking. Unclench your jaw. (Your dentist is going to be pissed about that later, too.) Pull your shoulders out of your ears. Relax your eyebrows. Take another deep breath.

Good. Now let’s take this one thing at a time.

We’ve all got things that will set us off as we wander around our cities. When my narc dumped me the first time, I clung to the band we were in together because at least I still got to see him. I’d blown my life up for him and wasn’t ready to give in.

I actually got dumped about 4 hours before I had to set up for a gig and be the life-of-the-party because he found out I’d over-imbibed and kissed someone. Mind you, at this point, I’ve been legally single for months, and I’ve been trying to…