Justine Bateman’s “Face” — Some Women Were Not Ready For It
Harsh Realities to Face
In a world obsessed with youth and perfection, Justine Bateman’s book “Face: One Square Foot of Skin” offers a refreshing perspective on aging and societal expectations. Through a series of real-life anecdotes and personal reflections, Bateman explores the harsh realities and pressures faced by women, particularly in Hollywood and entertainment, when it comes to aging. From reading the reviews of this book, you can tell that some women were just not ready for it.
The Absurdity of it All
Bateman’s book delves into the absurdity of the expectations placed on women to defy aging and maintain youthful appearances. She shows us, rather than tells us, through the real-life anecdotes in the book under anonymous identities. These stories reveal some cringy criticism these women faced and the unwarranted shame that aging is sometimes felt as a result of societal perceptions and the fixation on youth. Instead of offering coping mechanisms, Bateman equips us with the head-on reality so that there is no stone left unturned. She compels us to feel appalled, angry, and rebel, preparing us to become bulletproof against the societal norms. It’s not an easy listen — that’s for sure. And you may wonder, “What’s the point?”
A Hard Pill to Swallow
But listening to the entire book is crucial to fully grasp its message. While it may be tempting to stop due to the difficult stories shared by women, which can highlight our own experiences and reflections on aging, it’s essential to confront these realities and understand the societal pressures at play. Only by swallowing that hard pill will we find room for acceptance. By doing so, we can embrace the natural process of aging and reject attitudes against it. We can claim the respect we deserve from society, starting with ourselves.
Embracing Aging with Pride
Bateman’s statement at the end about how she embraces aging proudly resonates. It’s a powerful call to action and an invitation for us to do the same. She encourages us to carry aging as a mantle of pride and accomplishment, rejecting shallow attitudes towards physical appearance. Embracing aging is not only about accepting wrinkles and lines but also about recognizing the beauty of mortality and the richness of life’s experiences. She reminds us of how aging is the most natural and beautiful thing that should inspire no apologies — only respect.
Reflect on Your Discomfort
So while you may be tempted to stop where it’s uncomfortable, make that instead a time to reflect on why you’re uncomfortable and if you should even be uncomfortable. What should make you uncomfortable is the absurdity of it all — the audacity of these perceptions of aging and toward women.
Think of how you’ve allowed it to hold you back, perhaps in ways you may not have noticed. Under the surface…a constant nudge. Perhaps you’ve allowed it to cloud precious moments with intrusive thoughts. The media and the beauty industry want those thoughts to echo in your mind. They want you to buy their products, cut your skin, and spend your dollars that hold power. The same power that you can use to seem the message of what YOU really want — respect, for something real…something permanent.
The Power of Choice
They want to distract you from what’s real — your potential and your inner strength. Why? Simply because they want you to make them rich, and they do that by controlling how you feel or don’t feel. They want to quiet your voice and keep you focused in the mirror. They want you to think that they have “the cure”. However, they don’t sell you what really needs healing, and it’s not your face.
So the question lies in what kind of society you want to live in. Do you want to live in a society that uses shame to keep you “in your place”? Do you want to live in a society that tries to make you believe that you have a problem that needs fixing? Or do you want to live in a society that respects you? A society that admires your hard work and effort — more than just your face.
Listen Until the End
So I urge you to listen to the very end, to Justine’s message — a point that is made, a reckoning from one woman to society of what aging really means, what the lines, the bags, and the saggy skin really represent — not something to be ashamed of or something to hide or deny, but rather something to look back on with pride, and to carry forward without looking back. Instead, look forward with acceptance and excitement for what’s to come — a journey through life, in all its seasons. The “permission” to allow yourself that diverse experience. The freedom from face and the freedom to face…life as it is.
But, I Care About My Appearance
It’s important to acknowledge that caring for your skin and wanting to maintain your appearance is still a valid personal choice. I, too, appreciate having healthy skin and looking my best. My decision to prioritize self-care though, doesn’t mean I should be made to feel ashamed if my skin doesn’t stay flawless. It’s important to understand the difference.
Respecting individual choices and recognizing that beauty comes in many forms is the key. Society needs to value and respect our choices as women, whether we choose to embrace aging naturally or take steps to care for our skin without succumbing to unrealistic standards.
Impact on Young Girls
It’s crucial to consider the impact of societal messaging on young girls, who are constantly inundated with messages that their appearance and face are their most important achievements. Social media platforms like Instagram and Snapchat have built-in filters that sometimes apply automatically, perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards. Nowadays, women start worrying about aging even earlier in life than before.
Even if you don’t have daughters, remember that these young girls will grow up to shape society in the future. They will be the voices, or lack thereof, in our society as we reach old age. By challenging these norms and promoting a more inclusive and accepting definition of beauty, we can create a healthier environment for future generations, making room for both women and men equally.
A Simple Act That Has a Huge Impact
The emphasis placed on beauty can be lowered if we refuse to accept the amount of emphasis currently placed on women’s looks. Instead, we can celebrate and elevate other qualities such as intelligence, kindness, resilience, creativity, and compassion.
We can do this by actively acknowledging these qualities in the women we interact with. For example, rather than complimenting that woman you see at work for her eyeliner and glowing skin, bring to her attention how clever that thing she said or did was.
When you focus on acknowledging other women’s skills and contributions over appearances, the focus will shift in them and in you! It’s a simple act that goes a long way and has a huge impact.
Are You Ready to Face?
Ultimately, “Face” is more than just an book; it’s a call to action to redefine societal standards and embrace the beauty of aging with pride and grace. Some may grasp the message, while others may be appalled. But the true aim is to heighten awareness and confront the ugliness of societal perceptions head-on, and to step out of denial.
Without a full awareness of the repulsiveness of these perceptions — perhaps even more repulsive than any perceived flaws on our own faces — we cannot truly overcome them. If one isn’t prepared to accept this reality, confront its absurdity, and embrace the condition, they’re not yet ready to face “Face” and that’s ok. No judgments here.
The fear of facing it is more complex than it seems — it’s a dawning realization and rejection of our own mortality. It’s normal to sometimes project our fears onto other things, like our faces; however, it’s not healthy for that fear to be compounded with shame, and it’s certainly not fair for that fear to be exploited.
Shift the Focus and Inspire
The main takeaway here is that we have the power to shift the focus away from our face and towards our inner qualities — through acceptance. This way we can begin making room to nurture things that actually endure and empower us, regardless of our age. We can appreciate our unique attributes and contribute positively to society. Let’s redefine beauty to encompass diversity, authenticity, and inner strength. Let’s inspire future generations to value themselves for who they are, rather than how they look.
“Aging gracefully means being flexible, being open, allowing change, enjoying change, and loving yourself.” ~ Wendy Whelan
Thanks for reading!
Yours truly,
The Dreaming Siren
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