The Timing Of It All

I don’t keep interest in too many women past a first date- I just don’t. It’s a connection issue. If I’m not stimulated by a woman mentally, she doesn’t stand a chance. If we can’t hold a conversation for an hour, she blew her chance. If we’re not laughing easily, keeping things lighthearted, and completely locked in on each other, it’s not worth my time. All that’s after I chat with her about her career, favorite foods and other surface items that matter to me. If I can’t get excited about a woman after a first date, there’s no need for a second.

Is that too much?

Yeah. Probably. I don’t really know.

All I know is I’m writing this because I found a woman that hit on all of those.

We clicked. We talked, learned about each other, laughed, shared experiences and just enjoyed each other’s company. There was depth to the interaction. And I still don’t feel those words actually do the description justice.

After the first date I sent a text to one of my best friends and told him the date was amazing- and that there was only one problem. She’s a travel nurse and her contract was up in a month and a half.


I knew I was in trouble at that point. Because I know how I get with women that I click with- I tend to like the time I spend with them. A lot. And with her, I knew our time was limited from the beginning.

We met in our apartment courtyard. She has a little terrier and I have a 90-lb boxer. I was walking by with my dog, who’d stopped because he’s lazy, when her dog ran up underneath him. Her dog jumped on its hind legs, licked my dogs jowls, did a pirouette, landed on all fours and did it again. And again. It was so adorable I knew at that moment that I was going to ask her out on a date.

We made small talk, I got her name, and we parted ways that day.

We had a passing moment a couple days later, but I was with one of my buddies at the time. I called her by her name and reminded her of mine. We shared a smile.

Even though my apartment overlooks the courtyard, I’m not the type to sit by the window waiting to see her and then scurry down to ‘bump’ into her by ‘accident.’

So instead I adjusted the path I took to walk my dog in order to try and increase the chances that I’d run into her again.

I ended up waiting a month.

When the opportunity finally came, we made small talk while the dogs said hi. I started to walk away but I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t ask her to coffee- because in apartments people can move away at any time. So I turned around and asked her- and to my excitement she said yes.

The first date was coffee that ran into a sushi dinner. She called it a date before I did. That’s huge. It says a lot about someone’s maturity level when they refer to two young, attractive, single people going out to coffee and dinner as going on a date and not ‘going out’ or ‘hanging out.’

The second date was walking the dogs in a park, attempting a picnic and getting rained on, then deciding to just hit dinner at Machete. The third was the Denver Greek Festival and a Netflix show at my place with the dogs. All in about 10 days.

On the second date I told her that as I mature, I realize that the most valuable commodity we have is time- I had asked her on a coffee date that evolved into dinner, and I thanked her for spending additional time with me because I really enjoyed it.

I was completely comfortable around this woman and it made me vulnerable. On the third date I told her I had a weakness for attractive gingers, but really it was her.

[By the way, her hair is brown with a hint of what I saw as auburn- I whiffed. In order: she blushed, looked at her feet, looked at me, smiled, thanked me, and politely corrected me. Then she jokingly asked if I had to recalibrate everything. It was about as comfortable as that interaction could get and I was still pretty embarassed. She broke the tension perfectly.]

On the 12th day the text came. I knew it was coming- she made the decision to move away at the end of her contract, deciding to go home to be closer to friends and family. Completely understandable. Much, much sooner than I had hoped for, however.

The specifics of the texts I’ll keep private. In my own way I tied in my quote from the second date and thanked her for her time.

We clicked for three dates like I’ve never experienced. I know she felt it, too. She said the first kiss was perfect. How many women say that?

In the end, though, that’s just what it was supposed to be- as perfect as it was fleeting.

That’s why they say timing is everything, I guess.

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Originally published at on June 29, 2015.

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