Your fat friend wants to talk about fatphobia.
I’ve been asking you to be more considerate of what you do & don’t say to me. But this conversation doesn’t end there. Today, I’m asking you to examine and question the ways in which the world is set up to shame and exclude fat people. To make us feel like our character, intellect, dignity, worthiness and humanity are all less-than because of the shape of our skin.
That system is called fatphobia. It ensures that there is always someone there to remind us that we are seen first as fat, which means we are always seen as weak-willed, piteous, cautionary tales.
Sometimes the reminder comes from news footage of fat people, faceless and filmed surreptitiously, reduced to the shape and size of our bodies, silent effigies worthy of pity, shaming, lecturing, but no voice. When we are allowed to speak, we appear on shows like the Biggest Loser, a show dedicated to showing thin people berating, belittling and shaming fat people.
Sometimes the reminder comes from strangers who stare, laugh or shout when we walk down the street. Grocery shoppers who offer unsolicited advice or condescending “good for you!”s. Men who gawk at the gym, or call names. Well-meaning family members who share before and after pictures at every chance, tell us we’ve got “such a pretty face,” and if we only lost twenty pounds…
