A Fresh Start
I’m Jackie, and I happen to like this picture of me so let’s start there, because this story goes downhill from here.
On July 20, 2018 my beautiful 24-year old sister was killed in a car accident. I was sitting in a wheelchair holding my 2-day old daughter in her NICU room when we received the phone call. My heart shattered.
The next few weeks are a haze of little sleep, cluster feeding, and immense grief. If I’m being honest, the next few months were. I could write forever about grief, and I know it will be a subject I drive into frequently, but for now I’ll just say that there have been many days and weeks over the last almost-nine months that it has swallowed me whole.
A few weeks after losing my sister I was diagnosed with a DVT, also known as a blood clot. This isn’t the first time I’ve clotted, but this one did earn me the title of Life Long Blood Thinner Receipient, so that kind of stinks. Okay, it really stinks. It’s also caused me physical issues, of course, like pain and swelling. So, boo to that.
Then our house burned down.
You read that correctly. I’ll leave the details for another time, but it goes without saying that it was devastating.
If you’re keeping track, that’s a birth, a death, a DVT, and a house fire in a 2 month period.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Live like there’s no tomorrow, because one day there won’t be,” and we know it’s true, but then life happens and you’re tired and just trying to make it through the day. Routine sets in. Parenthood makes it too easy to lose yourself in your children.
But I am forever changed by the tragedies that have recently come our way. We’ve been given a wakeup call, a painful one, but one nonetheless. And I don’t intend to let life pass me by anymore, to put things off, to not live boldly.
And that’s what brings me here.
I’ve always loved writing, but it’s hard for me to put myself out there. I’ll write and then censor myself or wonder if I sound intelligent or interesting enough. But I’m going to make it a point to work on that. Because while I hope that you find value in what you read here, I am doing this for me. I need this to heal. I need this to grow.
We have a lot more change coming our way soon, but hopefully it all will be change that we choose. We are determined to make the best out of this season in our lives and to face whatever else comes our way as better, stronger, happier, more fulfilled individuals.
This is our fresh start.
