#011: On the natural attraction I have towards flight attendants

Why is it that whenever I’m on a flight and the flight attendants are walking around. Is it just me or is there some serious sexual tension? It’s like so are we gonna do it or what? Should I meet you in the lavatory? Because if this is going to happen that’s where it’s gonna go down.

And then during their presentation at the beginning I am giving them my full undivided attention. I look around and I am the only one even remotely paying attention. During this all I can think of is that even though have showed us how to react in case of an emergency, if there ever comes a time when those masks come falling down, we are all going to be flipping our shit. We’ll be like “Ahhhh what do I do? I wasn’t paying attention”

It’s not like someone is going to be like “It’s alright everybody. We don’t need to freak out. they showed us exactly what we need to do. All we need to do is put this thing over our mouth, pull the string and then jump down the slide that will take us to our inflatable boats”.

Anyway back to my love affair with the flight stewardesses. I know what you are doing when you are checking out my seatbelt. And that accidental shoulder skim.

I think of any profession, flight attendants have to deal with the most passive butt skims.

Flights are usually at least a few hours. So we are all facing forward and the stewardesses are facing us. So that’s all there is to look at. Of course even if you are just mildly attractive by the end of the flight you will look like a 10. So I’m looking that way and they are looking back and it’s like come on are you looking at me?

Plus you are dressed up. You job uniform is basically some sexy role-play outfit.

It brings back memories of my third grade teacher- Ms. Lennon. If you are reading this, call me.