Confusion

Dear reader, I honestly don’t know what to write about today and maybe that’s just the problem. Possibly, the problem may be that there is too much to write and i cant sort out my thought. We may never know. All i really do know is that I promised i would write everyday, and I’m not breaking this so soon… So feelings, what the actual fuck are they. Something i have struggled for so long in my life is identifying how i feel. I constantly wish that someone could read my mind and tell me whats going on, but sadly we can only fantasize about the life in which we want to live. As we all grow old we learn that we want want we cant have and that we are always waiting for the next part of our lives instead of living in the one we have now. So maybe that is the answer to why happiness is so hard to find? We can never be satisfied because of the concept of greed that dances around our mind and affects our hearts. Maybe that’s the reason i cant feel anything, or is the fact that none of which we feel is truly was were actually feeling? This concept may seem mad, or it may just be the concept of our hearts. I constantly wonder if anyone is actually truly happy or is it just false happiness. I founder over the thought that no madder how much i try to love people with a broken hear, i can never make anyone happy. I lay with these thoughts and question if this is the reason i don’t sleep at night. But like i said, i wouldn't know i don’t even understand my own emotions. -The girl with the black scar