She Made Me Quit My Career. She Helped Me Find My Voice.
It’s so easy to hold onto grudges. I used to keep a list in my head of the people who hurt me — those who broke my heart, gave me work trauma, or forced me to face parts of myself I wasn’t ready to see.
But with time (and a lot of inner work), I’ve come to realize something important. These people, these souls, weren’t just villains in my story. They were catalysts. They brought the discomfort and chaos that pushed me to move, to grow, to wake up. And often, the reason they hurt me had nothing to do with me at all. They were acting from their own pain, their own unhealed wounds.
Then there’s another list I keep. This one is made up of people who shifted my life in beautiful ways — sometimes without even realizing it. Maybe it was one conversation. Maybe it was a series of small ones that stacked up like bricks in a foundation I didn’t know I was building.
Let me share an example of each to show the gratitude I carry for both sides of this journey.
There was a manager I once had. She was the most unempathetic leader I’ve ever worked with. I still remember when she admitted she used to confuse sympathy with empathy. She even showed us a Brene Brown video to explain her “aha” moment. And even though she faced her own health challenges, she expected others to push through theirs without grace. I began to question myself. Was I too soft? Did I care too much about people when I should’ve focused on the bottom line?
With time, I came to understand something deeper. Her behavior wasn’t just about who she was — it was shaped by her own trauma. Somewhere along the way, she was handed a narrative that told her to push, to protect, to withhold. And she chose that path. We all have a choice in what we do with the stories we’re given. Do we let them heal us, or do we use them to hurt others?
That’s what I had to ask myself. And it’s a question I now ask others. What are you going to choose?
Looking back, I see she was placed in my life for a reason. She became the embodiment of everything I didn’t want to be as a leader — someone who prioritized control over compassion. In a system where health insurance is tied to our jobs, firing someone is not just a business decision. It’s often a life decision. And witnessing how casually she made those choices pushed me to leave my 15-year corporate career. It led me to help others become the kind of leaders who lead with love, and to support those trying to reconnect with the childhood dreams they buried in order to be seen as “capable” by society.
And then there’s Sarah.
She’s a former CMO who walked away from the traditional path to live her purpose. She helps others with productivity, yes, but what really makes her stand out is her heart. She is one of the kindest, most motivational people I know.
She’s also the best business partner for my husband. She understands and supports his neurospicy mind with so much grace, and together they’ve even created a keynote to champion and uplift others on their own journeys. Watching their collaboration is like seeing purpose and play come to life.
Honestly, Sarah is Joy from Inside Out. The way she moves through the world, with light, curiosity, and contagious positivity, reminds you that joy can be a strategy, not just a feeling.
She’s the reason I joined my keynote program. It was her invite to two speaking workshops that lit a spark in me. She encouraged me to sign up for the NSA Philly speaking contest, where I ended up winning third place. And when I was spiraling in self-doubt about my keynote, she invited me to see Come Away — a broadway show that reminded me why I’ve always loved being on stage. Watching her success reminds me every day that it’s possible. It’s possible to be kind and powerful. Soft and strong. Joyful and driven.
So, thank you. Thank you to both of these women who changed my life in very different ways. One cracked me open. The other lifted me up. And together, they’ve shaped who I’m becoming.
Who’s on your list? Who do you want to thank for unknowingly pivoting your life?
