Shadow Brokers translation

Response To Response To DOXing

thaddeus t. grugq
Jul 4, 2017 · 6 min read

Timestamp: 2017–06–30 16:45:37

URL: https://steemit.com/shadowbrokers/@theshadowbrokers/response-to-response-to-doxing

Archive: https://archive.fo/MQW5s

Word count: 510

[As a service to non native English speakers I am translating the Shadow Brokers “Borat” into simple English. I am not going to do any analysis in this post, just simple translation for people who have difficulty with Shadow Brokers posts. Now everyone can follow the drama!]

Translation Follows:

LOL DrWolfff. Who is the fuck is you? Yes theshadowbrokers definitely not talking about you ass-clown, because theshadowbrokers not talking about anyone specifically. How many former EquationGroup you thinking having PHDs, working at security company? Maybe theshadowbrokers is getting lucky. Is general trolling dumb-asses.

LOL @DrWolff. Who the fuck are you? We’re definitely not talking about you because we’re not talking about anyone specifically. How many former NSA operatives do you think have a PhD and work at a security company? Maybe we just made a lucky guess. It is just general trolling.

Looking how much attention @MalwareMediaWhoreJake getting us wrapping himself into fag-bait pretzel playing victim for reporters? Poor Jake is being naive if thinking there is good guys and bad guys. Jake is being naive if thinking his hacking for US IC not result in collateral damage against innocent peoples somewheres at sometimes. But is being ok Jake you are being like small child sleeping well at night, you are good guys because you hacking for Merica and following rules, right? Presidential Executive Orders. What’s is value of Presidential Executive Order these days?

Look how much attention @MalwareJake got us by playing the victim to reporters. Poor Jake is naive if he thinks there are good guys and bad guys. Jake is naive if he thinks his hacking for the US IC did not result in collateral damage against innocent people somewhere at sometime. But it is ok Jake, you can sleep like a baby at night, you are a good guy because you hacked for America and followed rules, right? Presidential Executive Orders. What is the value of a Presidential Executive Order these days?

TheShadowBrokers is evil monster bad guys because realizing there is being no good or bad and no rules, only controllers and controlled. Some peoples is being angry with theshadowbrokers because TSB rejects this system the peoples let control them. Is like TheMatrix “can’t free a soul that doesn’t want to be freed”

TheShadowBrokers are evil monster bad guys because they realise there is no good or bad and no rules, only controllers and controlled. Some people are angry with theshadowbrokers because TSB rejects this system that people let control them. It is like The Matrix: “can’t free a soul that doesn’t want to be freed” [Editor: is that an alt-right/“red pill” dog whistle I hear?]

Speaking of parasitic pussies enjoying being controlled. DrDoofff, is being very interesting company you working for, DarkMatter. Where is TSB hearing name before? Is not DarkMatter private front for CIA/NSA tech, talent, and knowledge transfer to UAE government for make spying on UAE citizens and other countries citizens like Iran and Qatar?

https://theintercept.com/2015/07/07/baltimore-firm-supplying-united-arab-emirates-surveillance-software-won-special-export-license-state-department

https://theintercept.com/2016/10/24/darkmatter-united-arab-emirates-spies-for-hire/

Speaking of parasitic wimps who enjoy being controlled. DrDooff [@DrWolff], it is a very interesting company you work for, DarkMatter. Where have we heard that name before? Isn’t DarkMatter a private front for CIA/NSA tech, talent and knowledge transfer to the United Arab Emirates government so they can spy on UAE citizens and other countries like Iran and Qatar?

(links to The Intercept articles about DarkMatter)

DrWolff you being correct you not being cool enough for equation group, you just ball boy holding equation group testicles while Arab shrieks on your bukkake face.

DrWolff you’re right, you’re not cool enough for Equation Group, you lack the skills and you work for Arabs. [Editor: this vivid play on words is quite impressive: “ball boy” -> “holding testicles”; “Arab sheikh” -> “Arab shrieks”, and then bringing it all together with “bukkake”. Every 14 yr old boy aspires to this level of imagery!]

You go spend money on e-PrivateDipshit. TSB is sure he can finding TSB when team of FBI, NSA, and CIA not finding TSB for past year. Why taking 24 hours to, “DOX self”? LOL. Is because needing 24 hours to being finding right corporate asshole to lick for permission, wash Arab cum out of hair, buy new suit, and rent photographer for new Twitter profile pix? You going to get so paid and laid now, guy. LOL

Go spend your money on ePrivateInvestigator [Editor: a topical reference to an Australian based infosec Twitter drama]. We are sure he will succeed in finding us when a team of FBI, NSA and CIA failed to locate us for the past year. Why did it take you 24 hours to dox yourself? LOL. Is it because you needed 24 hours to get corporate permission, buy a new suit, and get a new Twitter profile pic? You are going to get so paid and laid now, guy. LOL.

What fucking joke of society. Land of free, free to be empty confused desperate posers. Is what America rapes and pillages world for, so peoples is aspiring to be DrWolfffs?

What a joke of society. Land of the free, free to be empty confused desperate poseurs. Is this what America rapes and pillages the world for, so people can aspire to be like @DrWolff?

TSB not DOX Jake either. Jake DOX himself. TSB just set him up. Jake proud of what did and want make profit like all Equation Group members. Same time theshadowbrokers call out Jake, theshadowbrokers making wild accusation against French national Matt Suiche. Suiche could never be Equation Group, not US born citizen. Jake could be playing off using this for denial “Those crazy shadow brokers, I’m about as Equation Group as Matt Suiche” or similar but he did not, not single denial.

We didn’t dox @MalwareJake either [Editor: see below]. He doxed himself. We just set him up. Jake is proud of what he did and wants to make a profit, like all Equation Group members. At the same time we called out Jake, we made a wild accusation against a French national, Matt Suiche. Suiche could never be in Equation Group [NSA] because he is not a native born US citizen. Jake could’ve played on our false accusation against Suiche for a denial, e.g. “those crazy shadow brokers, I’m about as Equation Group as Matt Suiche” or similar, but he did not. Not a single denial.

Jake took DOX cock like Tijuana show girl takes donkey dick, chokes himself on it, then pulls it out, slaps self in face with it couple times, both cheeks, rinse and repeat daily. Jake loves himself some DOX cock, can’t get enough.

Jake enjoys being doxed as an Equation Group member. He thrives on it, can’t get enough.

Dump are inbound, first week of July, reading comprehension.

New Shadow Broker dumps are coming, first week of July. Reading comprehension [Editor: I have no idea what this refers to, maybe chastising people for expecting releases in the previous post and this one?]

Parting Words

It is difficult to remain neutral and refrain from comment while translating these texts. They are phrased to be evocative and beg for analysis (sometimes literally, their Twitter account frequently complains about lack of media coverage.) This post is not intended to be analysis, but they make a claim which should be addressed — whether they doxed @MalwareJake.

For all intents and purposes, yes, they did expose that Jake had worked for the NSA. They placed him in an impossible situation where he could either give them leverage over him (they would be able to blackmail him) or he could remove that leverage by making a public announcement. Like the professional that he is, @MalwareJake made the correct (but difficult) choice and stepped out of the shadows.

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thaddeus t. grugq

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Information Security Researcher :: keybase.io/grugq :: https://www.patreon.com/grugq