Caught Red-Lipped

Explaining Makeup to a Toddler While Being a Good Feminist Influence

Two weeks ago I spent a glorious afternoon with two of my favourite people in the world: A very close friend and her 2.5-year-old daughter, my (g)odd daughter.

We picked the little one up from kindergarten, played at the park, and went to toddler music class and even had a little impromptu picnic while we waited for class to start. The afternoon was wonderful and lighthearted.

After music school, we headed to an office party together, kiddo in tow. Before heading out for the party, my friend said, “let me just put on some concealer and foundation, I feel a little ragged.” (I think, at 8.5 months pregnant she’s totally allowed to feel ragged btw.)

She got out some makeup, and I decided to reapply my lipstick. We both don’t generally wear a lot of makeup and, I guess, we both thought nothing of putting on a little makeup to make ourselves feel more put together.

But then the kiddo looks at us and contemplates and asks: “What are you doing?”

Such a simple question by a child, but I found myself freezing, grasping for an adequate reply. How do I tell this smart, precocious, curious two-and-a-half-year-old that, while I think no woman should ever be made to feel that she has to wear makeup, I’m putting on lipstick? Because it is an armour of a sort. And because bold red lips make me feel more confident when I go to a socialising event.

I know way too many adults who can’t grasp that feminism has nothing to do with makeup or armpit hair. So how do I explain to a toddler that it should be okay to be yourself while applying something that enables me to hide?