I remember you.

I remember everything.

I remember how you held your phone. You held it so delicately.

I remember how you held me the night we broke up. You held on to me for 2 days, drenched in tears, while I kept on attempting to bruise my knuckles even more.

I remember your smile. I can’t remember mine.

I remember how we snuck outside just to smoke a couple stogies by the pool beside your house.

I remember you telling me you had Lupus.

I remember crying.

I remember wanting to make the most out of everything with you.

I remember not even knowing what Lupus was. I was so scared for you.

I remember feeling the surface of your nails. They were uneven.

I remember lashing out at you for not being there for me.

I remember being ungrateful.

I remember not knowing what love really meant.

I remember fucking things up even more.

I remember loving you still.

I remember your phone call at 3 in the morning a couple weeks after the break up.

I remember you crying, I asked why. You didn’t answer.

I remember hope. I remember you telling me that hope ruins things for everyone.

I remember not hoping.

I remember loving you still.

I remember the hurt. I remember blaming you.

I realized I only blamed you because I had no one else to blame.

You were my safety net.

I love you still.

I remember the tiny drawings we made.

I remember how incredible it felt to be with you.

I remember telling you that I never get back with my exes.

I remember taking that back.

I remember wanting you back.

I remember everything.

I kept on loving you still. I remember telling to myself you didn’t love me anymore.

I kept on loving you, until you told me you still loved me.

I still love you. I don’t wanna say goodbye just yet. Not now. Not yet.

I’ll be here.

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