The Repulsive Gift Of « The Other Woman »
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Today, I would like to address the subject of the other woman.
Also known as either ‘that b****’, ‘his side piece’, ‘his mistress’, ‘ homewrecker’
She is often seen as a selfish and classless individual with no moral values but I have come to hold a bit of a different perspective: she sometimes is very much needed.
For any relationship and the development of both genders.
As much as she can be frowned upon by society, she is annoyingly needed for the sake of exposing any misconduct of men and their rather emotional immaturity as they themselves mirror it from these females.
I’d like to say this is a situation I have yet to experience in life.
But still, it does intrigue me, especially from the point of view of women.
Why is the point of a female keeping putting her focus and hopes on a male who seems quite indecisive and continuously juggling around as he might entertain and consider the idea of another woman being a more adequate choice according to his standards?
Probably because on a subconscious level, she fears a third-party person might be better than she is and struggles to deal with this possible reality.
As all of her insecurities are resurfacing to the surface.
But we have to first take into consideration the male ones.
A wounded masculine is generally defined by those characteristics :
- He points the finger, blames others, and plays the victim.
- He avoids commitment and seeks external validation.
- He is indecisive, selfish, and greedy.
- He craves and seeks instant gratification and pleasure.
The other woman allows the male to finally release his most selfish forms of toxicity and display them long enough through uncaring actions taken with no consideration for the female partner to notice it right away and see right through him.
This vibrant energy of seduction and lustful temptation yet superficial and misleading is everything to the shallow male since he blindly sees that one blissful opportunity to be in control and therefore in a position of power.
I mean, he’s THE MAN playing a dangerous game.
And winning.
As tensions grow into conflicts and disputes, the lack of flexibility from the male brings more imbalance and disharmony in what was once thought to be a beautiful and satisfying connection.
The insecure and unassertive female partner on the other side might tend to put her partner on a pedestal while she withdraws into herself and sinks deeper into her loneliness and heartache due to the lack of communication which only leads to more confusion and more self-doubt about herself and as a valuable partner.
The thought of that other woman being somewhat perfect is nothing more than an illusion: the fact she is temporally perceived as such doesn’t make it true. It’s well-known perfection doesn’t exist. Even if it did, it’d be boring.
No matter if a long-term partner or even a crush decides to see it as such, it is important to remember the concept of perfection is self-created by us all so who is to say this woman isn’t in the eye of the male holder?
Certainly at first impression when we present ourselves in our best light.
« Be careful what you tolerate.
You are teaching people how to treat you. »
— Unknown
Still, this tendency for the woman to devalue herself is quite unfortunate.
Usually, it’s based upon :
- superficial points: beauty, physical body, finances, and lifestyle
- observed rational points: confidence, personality, attitude, abilities
Those qualities attract and may trigger profoundly the female because she estimates not having those or her incapability to have them at one precise level.
OR the complete opposite: this ‘‘someone on the side’’ may not have more than she does and she translates it as being cheated on by less than she is.
It’s even a bigger slap in her face because she feels insulted and offended.
« What screws us most in life is the picture in our head
of how it’s supposed to be. »
— Unknown
Nonetheless, she holds a purpose in a committed relationship to test the male so the female can evaluate his emotional maturity, self-control, and capacity to discern potential troublemakers and erase them and to reveal his profound states of mind at any stage of the relationship.
As opposed to the wounded one, a mature masculine is quite different:
- He takes charge while remaining grounded
- He embraces and fulfills his responsibilities
- He protects and supports when needed
- He accepts the consequences of his errors and acts rationally
Certainly, those situations are indeed disturbing and upsetting.
As I wrote in my title, this is a repulsive gift (and situation) to deal with.
But once the situation has been clarified, we gain a better understanding of how everything in life holds a bigger purpose and are prone to not forget it because a « bigger purpose » doesn’t mean easy outcomes and events.
Quite the opposite.
