Happy Birthday Dad!!! (a partial autobiography)

I was originally going to just post this all on instagram, but then i realized it was going to be waayyy to long for just one post and that it was also way to personal for just everybody on that follows me to see it. I figured the only people that would take time to click the link in my bio and read all this are the people that deserve to read it, the people that actually care about me and who i am, who want to know more about me amd really understand me, my REAL friends… And also stalkers, lol dont deny it, we all know they are out there, so to all my stalkers:

  • 1.your weird
  • 2.dont worry, i dont blame you, there was probably a time in my life i was so infatuated by you that i stalked you to.✌️

… Anyways so that’s why we are here.


To many people, today October 22, is just another random day in the middle of the month. Days are getting colder amd shorter. The nagging feeling that winter (and with that a butt load of snow, if you live up north) will soon be here.

But to me, unknown to many, it is a bit of a big day for me. I am guessing that many of you already know at least part of my life story about my early life changing childhood event because I am not the type to keep stuff to myself, but i am sure there is at least one reading this… (that is assuming at least 1 person reads this article/blog/story/whatever you call it)… that does not know, so bear with me as I retell the all too familiar story

I was born in St. Louis, Missouri on August 12, 1997 to my mother Ruth and father Greg Hammer. I don’t remember much from my early years, but the few memories I do have, thankfully are good ones. To make a longer-ish story shorter. In the year 2000, my biological father greg, or as we used to (and sometimes still do) refer the him as “daddy greg,” was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. It was discovered that he had a massive tumor growing very close to his heart. He went through many surgeries and even more chemo treatments as doctors tried to stop the demonic sickness that was taking over his body. I vaguely remember dad showing my sister and the massive scar on his torso on day recently after one of his surgeries when they physically tried to remove the tumor. It was ‘cool’ to see weird marks on someone’s body and I remember thinking in my childish mind how funny, but simultaneously kinda scary, the marks looked staring up at them in the hallway of our suburban house next to the airport.

Needless to say, eventually the doctors had done all they could do, but it still wasn’t enough and like most cancer cases the patient’s body cannot fight off the harmful effects this disease has on one’s body. About 1 year after he was diagnosed, my father and dad, Greg passed away on October 3, 2001. I was only 4 years-old at the time so I dont remember much at all. I vaguely remember waking up one morning waking up late (like I am still prone to do to this day) to the news from my sister that daddy was dead. I am I did not understand the full meaning of that word, but as I would learn in the next few days it just meant sadness and a lot of things would change.

I cannot recall any part of the funeral per say, that part is tucked away in the back of my mind somewhere behind the pounds of sweet candies and mints that I had unlimited access to that day. Its funny, I cannot think of many places now-a-days give away free mints, (especially multiple containers of them in one room) that are there for you to indulge on because you have nothing better to do…I wonder if funeral homes get a discount on bulk orders of mints, I should check into that lol…

Anyways back to the story that has now become very long, and I doubt if anyone is still reading this, if you are props to you, you are really a good friend, or just a really determined stalker, or just my older sister who is bored sitting in one of her college classes right now and should get back to paying attention or studying or whatever. (just kidding sarah, thanks for reading, but no really you should get back to studying you got alot going on this semester)

… As I said back to the story… I don’t remember much about the days after his passing or the funeral. But I do have a few random memories of hanging out alot with my cousins that came to visit for awhile as we got back into a normal schedule again, I mean as ‘normal’ of a life as we could get back into, considering the situation.


And now, to the whole point of today’s post. Today, October 22, was Greg’s birthday. I don’t know how old he would actually be today, but knowing my mom’s age, im guessing later 50s. I thought about writing something like this back on the 3rd of this month, but I decided that it would probably be more of a happier subject if I wrote about my father on his birthday than on a sinister note of death. I would rather talk about life than death any day of my life. Because one’s life and legacy is the thing that defines them, NOT their death. And plus if I am to put a note on my calendar it would take longer to write “Dad’s bday” than to write “Dad’s death.”

To wrap things up, I would like to say a thanks to my dad for being who he was. Though I didn’t know him long, and never got the chance to be raised very long by him, from what I’ve been told he was a good man, father, and husband. No, he was not perfect. Though he may be in heaven now does not mean that he was perfect. He was just a man. That happened to be my father, husband to my mom, who birthed me. I doubt he is watching or reading this now, because I am sure if God wanted Greg up with him so soon, there are things He needed him for which are far greater than anything we could imagine down here on earth. BUT in the chance you see this dad, I just want to say thanks for all you did, for touching / influencing the people you did, and for just overall being the person you were here on earth. I love you dad. See you again soon someday. Oh and Happy Birthday!!!


P. S.

I had more I wanted to say, but I teared up for a bit there and had to take a break from writing. Also I am starving because I worked all night and haven’t eaten anything. Depending I probably will share some more memories about my father and early childhood eventually. If I do so, it will be mainly just so I will have something to look back on and help me remember stuff because my brain sucks and isn’t the best at remembering memories (hah try saying that 10x fast 😂)

P. P. S.

If you have made it this far… WOW THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO READ THROUGH ALL OF MY RAMBLING. YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND. THANKS! And if You Don’t Mind , And Want To Hear More (And Even If You Don’t ) Be Sure to FOLLOW Me Here On Medium, HIT THE LIKE BUTTON, feel free to leave a comment if you feel like it! It would mean a lot to me if you did!

Also hit up my snapchat @KlubbasCanvas where I share the majority of my daily life.

THANK YOU AGAIN SOOOO MUCH!

Peace ✌

Josh

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