My Battle with Weight Loss and How it taught me about change.
“UGH! Another person posting about their weight loss transformation journey!” That’s probably what you are thinking. Hell, that’s what I would be thinking.
“I ate nothing but kumquats for breakfast and have reached my birth weight and you can too!”
“After I signed up for Ultra-CrossFit-Yoga, I can now run a marathon in 15 minutes!”
You may be wondering, if I hate these posts, then why am I contributing to the heap of weight loss posts. Well I will tell you, it’s my story, that’s why. My weight loss journey is different than yours and the other million out there. Why, because I am different than everyone out there. I have my own story leading up to my decision, I have my own motivations to change, and I have my own journey.
My hope is that in sharing my own story and bear witness all of the feelings and activities that took place, I will inspire other people to make some kind of change in their life as well. It doesn’t have to be weight loss (though I would encourage it). Weight loss is nothing more than a conscious decision to make a change in my life for the better. But I will touch upon this concept a little later (stay tuned!).
Heavy may as well have been my middle name because I was always on the heavier side. When I was born, I was nearly 10 pounds (okay, 9 pounds 6 ounces but 10 pounds sounds cooler). I wish I could say that baby fat just melted away but nope, it molded to my body. I was always the “chubby kid” in school and then became a overweight teenager and fat adult.
Now being overweight has it’s own stigma to it. I get it though and I don’t really fault people for having that stigma as there are basic rules of sexual attraction and being overweight isn’t exactly healthy. However, some people take it a little too far.
I remember being called “Fat kid” quite a lot growing up. Bah, those were just kids and kids are mean. When I get older, they will be more understanding of my weight issue. After all, it’s not my fault! I have fat people in my family, it’s clearly a genetic issue. Besides, people shouldn’t judge me for how I look, it’s what’s on the inside that counts! Boy, if only that were true.
I got a lot of off hand remarks even as an adult. I remember dating a girl in college and overheard her explaining to her friend how I wasn’t “that fat” and that “I carried it well”. I was called “bitch tits” more time than I care to recall. I didn’t have the best luck with women either.
Aside from the social issues, there were health issues. I was about 21 and was told that I have high blood pressure and am too heavy for a 21 year old (was probably around 230–235 pounds). I was also quoted an unusually high rate for term insurance due mainly to my weight. Now I didn’t have a history of medical problems but because I was heavy, it was really just a matter of time.
This marked my first attempt at weight loss. I actually did pretty well. I dropped about 15 pounds in roughly 2 months and got another measurement for insurance and got a better rate because I was healthier….. then I returned to my old habits……
Fast forward to 24, I am at 270 pounds, rocking a 42" waist and wearing between XL and XXL shirts (depending on the store). I would be ridiculed for my weight and have people ask me about my health pretty routinely. Most of my friends were pretty active. I made some new ones in Austin and we went kayaking and I sank the kayak…..
So now comes the real fun part of the story. December 2011, I meet this girl who made me feel… special. I really liked her, a lot and things were going well. Then out of the blue, she called it off. I couldn’t figure out why. I talked it over with some friends (3 to be specific) and the 3 all gave me the same response. They all told me to workout because it can elevate your mood (which is scientifically proven).
However, what one friend told me stuck with me, and that was the tipping point for me. “Girls tend to not like fat guys”. This was not the first time I have heard this. I have seen the checkout line at grocery stores before. They never have a heavyset guy on men’s magazines. I have never heard a female friend pine over Zach Galifinakis or Jack Black. I have been called unattractive before. But THIS girl had an impact on me. What’s funny, she never said that was the reason. That’s what I convinced myself.
So this same friend tells me that he will help me workout. This was it, I was going to finally make the change! It just so happened to be January 2012 so it was the perfect time for a resolution! “Your apartment has a gym right? Meet you on Saturday”. So now we wait until Saturday.
In the meantime, I hit the Googlesphere and lookup diets. Atkins, South Beach, Paleo, wtf? These all seem complex, and all have different rules, who knows which is right? I finally decided, maybe I should just scale back what I eat and that may help.
I made four major diet decisions.
- Cut out fast food entirely. I used to eat fast food all the time. Sometimes twice in a day. It was easy and hell, it was tasty. Supersize my meal? Hell ya! Nope, no more fast food.
- Cut out soda entirely. I could down about 6 Mountain Dew bottles a day without a second thought. Time to cut that out.
- No more cookies or candies from the grocery store. Ever meet a guy who could down a box of Oreos in a matter of hours. Ya, that was me.
- Be very mindful of what I was eating. Guess what, I started counting calories. Before, I just ate what I wanted and was like “whatever”. Now I took inventory and made sure that I burned more than I ate.
So Saturday comes up and we work out. Then Monday comes up and I workout again. Then Thursday and I workout some more. This continues until February where I have dropped about 10 pounds (you always burn a lot the first few weeks you diet and exercise). I contact the girl again and she kind of makes it clear that this is isn’t going to happen. Naturally, I was hurt. What the hell am I working out for?
Should I give up? Surely if she won’t be in my life, there is no point in trying anymore. This is when the real decision was made. I decided to do this for me. Who cares if I get her back or not? Who cares if people insult me again? Do I want to be healthy? Do I want to feel good about myself? Do I want to change? Do I want to be a better me…. for me?
The answer was yes! I knew I was fat. I knew that I was staring down the barrel of diabetes, heart disease, etc. if I didn’t do anything. I have always wanted to skydive but was way over the weight limit. I wanted to feel good about myself when I bought clothes. Let’s make a change!
2012, I lose 50 pounds. 2013, I lose about another 20. I am working out just about everyday now for at least an hour. My manboobs are now gone and have been replaced by legit pecs. My pants are just hanging off my body. My arms have grown to where my female friend said “wow, your arms look great!”. I had a history of back problems and would throw out my back around once a month. This was no longer happening since I wasn’t carrying a 30–40 pound sack around my waist.
My friend decides to start running in 2014 and so I figure, why not. Austin has the lovely Butler Trail that loops Town Lake so it may be fun to do some trail running. I became a weekend trail runner. We have some friendly competitions to see who can get better times on the weekends. We decide to do the Austin Half Marathon in 2015. I knock it out in 1h48m while my friend took… a little longer. Now I am addicted to running and doing a bunch of 5k and 10k runs in the Austin area and just running past my friends.
2016, biggest challenge ever. I ran my first marathon and knocked it out in 4h7m. Me, the (formerly) fattest person in my circle of friends. The guy you couldn’t get to run to the end of the street without getting winded just ran his first marathon. I also beat my friends’ times (those who showed up for the run)!
So what does this all mean? Well, from a physical point of view, I looked awesome! I have developed some abs and my arms, legs, chest and butt look amazing. I learned that I actually have a face and not just jowls.
But more importantly, what did it do to Jason the human, not Jason the body? I felt more confident around people. No one could call me fat again. I also proved to the world that I could make a change. More importantly, I proved to myself that I could make a change!
You see, weight loss could just as easily be…. education…. or relationships…. or travel…. or whatever. It was a conscious decision I made to change myself for the better so that I could experience life in a new way. Fat Jason never ran a marathon. Fat Jason couldn’t skydive. Fat Jason couldn’t stand-up paddle board (trust me, he tried when he was fatter). Fat Jason was never randomly complimented for his appearance at Kerbey Lane.
This is not a story about weight loss, this is a story about a conscious effort to make a change for the better to experience life in a new way. How many things do we do or not do that keeps us from experiencing life? Too old to go back to school? Not smart enough to apply for your dream job? Too ugly to ask out that girl/guy in your economics class? I am calling bullshit right now.
The biggest obstacle in front of you is….. wait for it…. YOU! I wasn’t fat because of my genetics, or because of the media or the power of the food manufacturers. I was fat because I didn’t want to go to the gym and wanted to eat everything in sight. When I finally reached that realization that I was fat and I could change and this change was going to be for ME is when the change happened.
The key was that I made the change for ME. Changing solely for other people is stupid. If you do that, you’ll never be happy because you are always trying to be someone or something different.
Is my life perfect now? Hell No! Life is a never ending story of improving yourself. Have these changes improved my life substantially? You better believe it! Now I feel healthier and my outlook on life is better.
Maybe you don’t need to lose weight. Good for you! But what is your change that you need to make to improve your life? None? Ya, I don’t believe it. It doesn’t have to be something major. Maybe you need to call your grandparents once a week and keep that relationship strong. Maybe you should call your SO and tell her that you love them more often.
Maybe you need to improve a certain skillset to get that promotion you’ve been eyeballing. Maybe you hate your job altogether and need a career that let’s you travel the world. We all have something that we wish we can change. The key is to just do it! Seriously, what’s stopping you? Not enough money? I used the gym at my apartment cause it was free and my workout shirts were swag that I got for free from SxSW. I run because the trail doesn’t charge.
Not smart enough? Okay, let’s say it’s true. Every hear of the internet? Can you find free resources to learn? No time to make a change? Did you have time to watch “Game of Thrones”? DVR that shit and use that time for self-improvement.
I truly hope that my story has inspired people to make a change. Weight loss or otherwise. I want to hear everyone’s story as it’s important to share your story of change to build a community of improvement.
