4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Hiring A Social Confidence Coach
A coach can make a top performer even better.
Tom Brady has Bill Belichick
Michael Jordan had Phil Jackson.
Kobe Bryant had…Phil Jackson.
A good coach can make a top performer even better. Coaches can give ordinary, ambitious people (not just professional athletes) perspective, strategy, and advice to help them move forward faster.
But what about social situations?
- Making great first impressions?
- Having interesting conversations?
- Becoming charismatic?
Is there even such a thing as a social confidence coach?
Yes, there is.
I help ambitious over thinkers supercharge their people skills and charisma.
Here are 4 questions you should ask yourself before you hire a social confidence coach.
1. “Do I know what I need help with?”
The first question to ask yourself is: “Where do I feel like I need help?”
Many of my private coaching clients come to me because they tend to overthink in social situations, and they know that what they’ve tried in the past (reading books or articles) just isn’t working.
(Typically, MORE information isn’t the answer.)
In most cases, they need my help in getting outside perspective on how they approach conversations, meetings, and other social situations. We always set clear goals before working together.
Think about your goals.
Do you want to have better conversations? Build rapport rapidly? Work a room like a pro?
One of the first questions I’ll ask someone interested in coaching is: “Where do you want your social skills to be in 3–6 months?”
Some people struggle with having a smooth conversation, others want to rapidly build rapport so that they can do better in their career.
Everyone’s goals are a little different. A good coach can even help you clarify your goals.
After clear goals are set, that’s when the fun part starts…
2. “Am I ready to be held accountable?”
Accountability is one of the best benefits of having a coach.
It’s kind of like a cheat code for rapid improvement.
When my clients know that we have a call scheduled, they feel motivated to take rapid action on their goals.
Then, on the call, we’ll talk about their wins or where they struggled and need guidance.
Studies have even suggested that accountability can help people increase their chance of success by up to 95% if they have a scheduled accountability meeting.
And, if you bristle at the thought of being held accountable, coaching likely isn’t for you.
3. “What’s the ‘unfair’ advantage of working with a coach?”
A coach can help you see the future.
No Marty put away the flux capacitor.
You only have your experience being you.
You don’t know what it’s like being anyone else.
That new social strategy you’re thinking of testing out, you really have no Idea if it’ll actually work.
But a coach recommending a strategy that they’ve seen work many times is a different story.
The reality is, as much as we’d love to think that we’re all 100% unique, if something works for most people, it’s likely that it will work for you too.
With a coach, you can go into social situations with confidence, knowing that you have a solid, tested strategy.
Okay, so what makes a good social confidence coach?
4. “How can I separate the good coaches from the mediocre (or bad)?”
If you’re kicking around the idea of hiring a social confidence coach, how the hell can you tell the good coaches from the mediocre?
I have an easy litmus test: Do they carpet bomb you with tactic after tactic?
“You should say THIS!”
“You must maintain your frame and dominate by keeping your hand on top during a handshake!” (WTF?)
“You need to memorize everyone’s Myers-Briggs!”
Look, I’ll level with you. Tactics are like candy. People love candy. But tactics alone will never give you long-lasting change.
What great coaches do.
If a coach asks you lots of questions and helps you dig for the answers you need while gently guiding you in the right direction…that’s a really good sign.
“Tell me more about that?”
“What do you think you could have done differently?”
“Have you considered XYZ?”
Tactics DO have their place, but when I hear a client say “Oh wow…I’ve never thought about it like that…” I know we’re doing good work.
My goal is always to help my client progress as fast as they can.
So sometimes, that does mean giving them the answer. Most times, it means helping them dig for the answer.
