I can’t believe Cambridge Analytica didn’t find me interesting enough to mine

No manipulation here. Nope.

julian rogers
Mar 21, 2018 · 4 min read
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Cambridge Analytica’s suspended CEO Alexander, nixed.

I don’t like to brag. But on my Facebook account I have more than 10 followers. That’s double digits. Comfortably. Easily.

Should be catnip to data miners.

I mean, I was totally up for grabs. And yet, even though Donald Trump’s presidential campaign hired American data-analysis firm Cambridge Analytica … to gather data from over 50 million Facebook profiles to predict the behavior of American voters, according to investigations by The New York Times and The Guardian, I wasn’t one of them. I was totally left alone.

Huh. I would have thought that my long-held, liberal, lefty, anti-asshat leanings would have been ripe for their targeting, given my large Facebook following. My “psychographic profile” should have risen to the top of their hit list. They’d want to flip me good and fast.

But no. I remain as unchanged, unaffected by psychological manipulation as any one man can be.

The evolution of my political leanings and social beliefs have evolved, sure. But I’ve just grown, you know?

So, let’s all give props to duly re-elected Russian president Vladimir Putin, whose come-from-admittedly-ahead victory in Russia’s glorious national democratic election showed what a united, mobilized electorate can do. It’s a rare sight to see a deserving candidate prevail with 76 percent of the vote in a modern election. Truly impressive to see true democracy in action.

We can learn a lot, comrades.

An amazing win for Vlad, da? POTUS was right on time calling with his hearty congratulations. Tough campaign, too. First election Putin has won since Nov. 8, 2016! Make Russia Great Again!

Speaking of his heroship, Donald J. Trump, why can’t more Americans fall in line with the sage words of modern political thinkerupper and philosophizer, Chuck Woolery?

The former game show demigod is right on, as per uzh. Trump is fighting for the (capital R) Republic. There’s no blatant self-interest and desperate self-preservation going on. Why it’s as plain as the denials Sarah Huckabee Sanders proudly, voluntarily and repeatedly makes on behalf of the president’s oft-cited alleged misdeeds.

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Alleged. ALLEGED.

And if I have to hear one more time about a woman, hot & blonde or not, that gets traction with her claims of sexual dalliances with the thrice Christian-married Donald Trump, just because she passed a polygraph, I’m gonna thump my Bible something fierce on the next godless, snowflake libtard! Everyone knows polygraphs can be beaten.


And Trump’s lawyer admittedly paying a porn star $130K as remuneration to signing a non-disclosure agreement is proof of nothing. David Dennison could be anyone. Maybe even you. Porn stars accept payment to stay quiet about their personal, sexual encounters all the time! They’re famous for being shy that way.

Sad! The amount of chaos being blamed on president Trump is unpresidented. Some even say all the staff turnover in the White House is evidence of a swirling, sinking ship in the toilet of history, or worse — the predictable, desperate acts of a guilty man flailing against an inevitable drowning.

Not so. Some people just can’t cut it in presidential politics. The spotlight is too bright for many. They’ve gotta go.

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I don’t know who that one guy is.

And good riddance! Donald Trump deserves to field the best team of winners that he can make promises to. USA needs winners! It’s time to start getting tired of all the winning! I know I’m certainly tired.

Patriots = good! Conscience = suspicious! The American people made clear who and what they believed when they voted Donald Trump president. No Robert Mueller special prosecutor, protected by his hapless Attorney General overlord Jeff Sessions, can do anything to change that. Not. Gonna. Happen.

And you know what? Long, luxurious, real human hair flops in the wind. I don’t know why people still make such a big deal about this. DO NOT CONGRATULATE those that do!

So there. My psychographic profile remains uncorrupted. A big miss by Cambridge Analytica. Hail Satan.

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