Being (good at being) alone

thek-ure
2 min readDec 19, 2022

“Solo living gives me more time to do things that I want, to think, to meditate, to have more freedom and fulfilment” Dai Xianjing

After ending a two-year relationship and losing her job, Dai Xianjing started to live on her own. The photographer based in Beijing realized that she could finally take time to slowly observe herself while being alone. Meeting other women who lived by themselves in urban China marked the beginning of the “Women at Home” project. Eventually, the project, which is still ongoing, turned into the 2021 documentary showing the lives of women who decided to enjoy living alone.

I haven’t found a subtitled version of the documentary yet but I’ve taken a look at Dai’s photography project and that got me thinking about how, just like the women in the picture, I am good at being alone. I am good at spending the day looking out of this big window from which I can’t see anything besides the hotel room across. I can’t catch any familiar faces, as the guests keep changing. And that’s comforting.

As it is stepping out into the very crowded street lined up with bars and restaurants. I see people, but only hear music playing on my earphones. No rush, because no one is waiting for me outside or at home, no one is thinking of me at this moment and no stranger on the street spends more than a second on me.

It’s liberating to feel like I exist and no one notices it.

What does being good at being alone mean? Is it independence or selfishness? Most likely both. Is it right then to be good at being alone, but expect to not be lonely? Those are undeniably different, but perhaps not separable.

Anyways, I found the Women at Home project really beautiful. Among the noise of having 30 open tabs at all times, I found some quietness. It happens most often with photography for me too.

No matter what changed and happened during these years, taking photos almost been the only thing which never stopped.”- Dai Xianjing

--

--

thek-ure

Learning about marketing culture, entertainment & media in East Asia./ And myself.