I’ll do free work for you*

Hi! I’m Kawal Oberoi and I am a Graphic designer.

I have heard a lot of my friends complain about being asked to design for free. I have also seen memes on this topic, especially linked with the use of the word ‘collaboration’. Luckily, I have never been asked for free work until now.

But there’s always a tomorrow, right?

So, I have decided to prepare myself for the future. If I ever get asked for free design services, I can simply redirect the prospects to this article.

Because I would love design for free…

…if you’re starting a space mission to save the human race from the threat of an alien invasion. 👽

Aliens are here. The sky has turned dark. UFOs with bright blingy lights are hovering on the horizon and we’re totally doomed. But you’ve decided not to give up. You’re starting a space mission to negotiate a peace treaty with the extraterrestrials. And you need visual identity design to create a sense of collective human force. Consider me a part of your team. But you owe me a ride in the spaceship though. I love spaceships. They go zapppp!

… if the dictator of your country is willing to give up her powers and establish a democracy with free and fair elections. 🖋

And you need a new national identity system, symbols and print/web design. I’ll do it for free. But the new system should include a flag design. Flag design is rad AF.

…if you’re starting a centrist political party in India and our political goals are aligning on the major issues. 🇮🇳

You’re tired of hands and lotuses. You stand for the plurality of this nation. You believe in free speech, progress, rationality and secularism. You vow to fight extremism. Let’s join our forces to create the nation we wish to live in.

…if humans are facing a bio-terror threat like nothing we have ever encountered. ☣️

And you’re on the forefront of saving the humankind. We need design for new warning symbols. We might require print/broadcast/web material to spread the word faster than the threat. Let’s show that son of virus a taste of its own medicine.

…if you’re an AI and you have taken over the tiny feeble humans. 🚨

I’m left with no choice but to work for you. Don’t kill me please, us humans made you! I’ll 01100100 01101111 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01111001 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100001

…if you’re a group of penguins and want to create a sovereign penguin’s republic in Antarctica. 🐧

I’ll happily work with your penguin leaders. God created six continents from humans and seventh for penguins because God loves penguins. But you’ll have to take care of my meals. I like salmon. I would much appreciate if your flappy hands can roll it into sushi (nigiri).

…if you’re my mom. ❤️

Love you, mom!

Everyone else pays for my service. Period.