Anthology Two: The Echoes Of A Lonely Heart
2.1
The corridors are filled with chatter and squeals, left and right, while I stand there as if time moves twice as fast. How does the world continue revolving while I stay in the same position?
I have never felt so alone in a crowded room.
2.2
Am I the problem? Do I need to talk more? Express myself more?
I am longing for a soul to connect with, someone who eagerly wants to know my deepest secrets and my damages. Perhaps I am too much or too little for people, and loneliness has me wrapped around its fingers.
2.3
I long for someone to come home to, someone who greets me at the door with a warm hug. I want a person who genuinely cares about my day, who listens as I share how terrible the traffic was, making me walk three miles to get home sooner. I desire someone who makes the bed and then messes it up again with me, who says goodnight and looks into my eyes when I wake up in the morning. Most of all, I want someone who feels like home, no matter where I am.
2.4
A long-time friend says wine tastes different when it’s for two. I smiled, thinking how am I supposed to know that when I have never even been held. I finish a whole bottle by myself, popping the cork with a poker face. Wine tastes the same to me. Nothing ever changes, I am still alone.
2.5
I can accept a lonely life by myself, but a lonely home filled with angry and tired people will always feel unfair to me. I cannot accept that these four walls hold a family who can’t even make a better world for themselves.
I have nowhere to go; everywhere is an echo of isolation.
2.6
Nothing feels more lonely than being surrounded by people who don’t know you, passing hours in each other’s company, yet none of them realize you had no intention of being alive today.
‘You’re handling it so well.’ Are you really sure about that?
2.7
My mind is the aftermath of the apocalypse, and the catastrophe was all caused by me. I am the cause of my own destructions. I have been alone for so long and have broken everything around me, only to find myself in a state of utter chaos.
loneliness changes you, it kills you in the saddest way possible.
2.8
I wonder what it feels like to be held by a person like me. A person who has so much love to give and so much time to sacrifice for the sake of being two instead of one. A person who has waited and waited .. and waited.
I wonder what it feels like to be held.
2.9
Who am I when no one is looking? Who am I when my name remains unfamiliar and everything in between? I am still me, for no one ever even took a glance. No one truly comprehends my existence.
2.10
My heart drops, and the solid ground catches it. It echoes its desires, a loud cry for help that can only be heard by those facing the right direction. Look at me as part of the bigger picture. Look at me apart from the world. My heart echoes. It signals its pain.
Please, hear me out, absorb my waves of longingness. I am in need of a person. I am in need of a soul. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
