Case study: “How do I politely tell clients I can’t read their mind?”

A friend recently asked for help in relation to client communication, and wanted to “politely tell clients I can’t read their mind”. I think it would be really valuable to share his questions, problems and also my reply.

Because most posts are quite short, and this one is much longer, I’ll share the main theme upfront. This isn’t really a problem with clients. It’s a problem with consistently being a professional.

You may wake up late, pour your coffee in your cornflakes to save time, and never ever remember your mother’s birthday. You could be the worst person ever outside work. However, if someone is paying for your services or skills they expect you to be a professional. With this comes a whole bunch of other expectations based on what the client or customer expects from a professional.

His question:

“This last half year or so, one of my main problems is that there have been many times when a client seemingly wanted me to read his or her mind. To give you some examples:

I was gently scolded by one client for missing a January 15th meeting — one that I never received an email, text or phone call about, but the client acted as if it was my fault. I had no idea they wanted to meet.A certain client doesn’t answer emails or return calls, but recently said she was withholding payment on an invoice because I hadn’t turned in work. I hadn’t been turning in the work because I hadn’t heard from her and had no response to whether she even got the invoice (which I submitted three times over the course of about six months).One client will ask me to, for example, “draw a circle,” and when I draw a circle they will tell me that this isn’t what they wanted and why didn’t I “draw the rectangle they asked for”? If I say, “You said to draw a circle,” they’ll say, “No, that’s incorrect, I asked for a rectangle!”Another client wants me to exactly emulate his video editing style, but when I ask for clarification, he says, “it’s sort of a feeling thing; you just have to feel it.” Then he’ll let me know when my editing wasn’t exactly like his.

I take copious notes when instructed to do something and I try to get detailed instructions, but even then sometimes clients will tell me, “No, you misunderstood me and you did it wrong.” But I know for a fact that what I wrote was exactly what they told me during a meeting to do and I have tried to follow those instructions 100%.

At this point, because it happens often, I think it’s me and I’m doing something wrong in how I relate to clients or communicate with them.

How do I tell clients in a polite and professional way that I cannot read their mind and that they are now unhappy with something that they themselves told me to do in the first place?”

My reply:

I don’t think this is a problem with the clients assuming you can read their minds, although a lot of clients do. If they do, it’s likely your fault somehow — because it’s your job to show the client how to communicate with you.

For each of the above examples:

1: “Hi, I’m really sorry I missed the meeting on January 15th, but I don’t recall being invited. Can you remind me when this happened please? Maybe it fell between the cracks, so I need to work out what went wrong and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

If the client says they told you over the phone, it’s your fault for not making clear that all requests have to be confirmed in writing. If you have done this, it’s the client’s fault and you should not be afraid to say so. The above response is a very passive way of making the client take responsibility. They have to think about when they invited you. If they truly did not, this is worded in a way that stops them being defensive as you have already assumed all responsibility.

2: Is your process laid out in very clear terms and discussed in person (phone or face meeting) and agreed in writing by the client? Does your process involve getting a high % upfront as a deposit so you are never working for free? If you can say yes to all of this, then the client is to blame and you should not be afraid to (politely) remind them of all this. A dirty tip here is to leave all of this as a message to someone else (receptionist, co-worker etc) and shame them into calling you, or answering your calls. If you can’t say the above then it’s your fault.

3: As before, did you repeat at great length and get written sign off on the exact circle the client wanted? If you are taking detailed notes then you also need to get the client to agree to these notes at the time and get them to give you written confirmation that this is what they are asking for. This allows you to say “please see the attached email where you have agreed that you want a circle. Am I correct in thinking that you do not want this circle anymore?” If you don’t have this evidence then it’s your own fault. If you do, you can justify charging extra for completing a second brief.

4: Again, sorry,but if a client is not giving you actionable feedback and you try to do the work anyway, it’s your own fault if it goes wrong. While it is your job to fulfil the client’s brief, it’s also your job to make sure the client gives you a brief you can fulfil. If they are not giving you this, you need to be asking better questions.

How do you ask better questions? Trial and error.

This is for a specific field but may be helpful in getting you started: http://www.adaptivepath.com/ideas/beyond-i-hate-green-managing-productive-visual-design-reviews/

The key takeaway here is that you need to have your process up front and have the client give you written confirmation that this has been read, understood and that they agree to work to this process. Any time you are asked or forced to change your process is detrimental to the quality of work the client will receive, and the client needs to know this.

If you have all of this already, you need to be reminding the client of this. This is what is expected of a professional.

Read concise articles on digital project management in an agency setting over at Managing Web Projects