Don’t forget that studies now show that trauma alters DNA to be more “wired” for the fight/flight/freeze mechanism. That has to have an effect, also.
I’m a white woman’s, and don’t pretend that what I have been told or heard about the experience of being black is something I can fully understand. And… I came from a family whose interactions were not the so-called normal — in my family, arguing was raised to the level of an Olympic sport. If an opinion was expressed, everyone was expected to provide counterpoint or support for it. In otherwords — we yelled and screamed. So my norm, entering the workforce was when there was a disagreement of opinion, to have a “spirited debate” (argue) and I am a loud person. Fortunately for me, I was in a government job, so they couldn’t fire me. It was 20 years later that I did some personal development training and finally realized that my way of interacting made people uncomfortable.
The only people who had no problem with my way of being and interacting were my black bosses. We’d argue about something in the conference room, and walk out laughing. I heard people make off hand remarks about it, but nobody ever stopped me and said “hey, if you want to get ahead you have to stop doing that. It makes other people uncomfortable.”
I imagine — and am probably wrong by a degree I can’t even perceive — that it’s something like that on a far more universal level that the non-dominant cultures in America deal with.
White America doesn’t like emotion. Especially the men, who have always been trained that to show emotion is damaging to their masculinity. And they are crippled in a way that’s hard to explain, but obvious to those of us who actually live with emotion.
I am constantly surprised by the unwritten rules I stumble over in business and social events.
I think the white culture is repressive, systematized mental health problems, and is a huge myth supported by so called “media”.
But I think any culture that evolves without conscious thought is doomed to this type of insanity.
It’s time to start architecting culture with the same kind of forethought and planning that is used for developing skyscrapers. Culture could become something we consciously create — if we want to work at it.