Rhyming Reasons : Pluto’s Always a Planet to me (Happy 90th Birthday Pluto!)

Alexander Hollins
Feb 13 · 2 min read

So, it’s the 90th anniversary of the discovery of our 9th planet, Pluto.
Yes. It’s a planet. There are a LOT of reasons why the IAU decision is a steaming pile of manure. I put a couple of them into song! (To the tune of Billy Joel’s ‘She’s always a woman to me’.)

It can push and can pull, where another orbit lies
Good Lowell had faith we would see it with eyes
In his tower in Flagstaff Clyde finally did see
They call it a dwarf now, but Pluto’s always a planet to me.

Like dear old Fred’s love, it can pull you towards it
Along for the ride, it’s neighbors won’t leave it
Yet we care not about the orbit that interweaves it
And Earth has its showers, so Pluto’s always a planet to me

Oh, it doesn’t spin by itself, not alone with its thoughts,
Five moons it has brought
Oh, we’ll never give up, to that divided Union
They’ll never change our mind

They say ‘what about Eris’ and I just can’t even
Yes it too is a planet just as long as I’m breathin’
It orbits the sun, it’s round, and spins free
It should be number 10, cause Pluto’s always a planet to me.

Oh, it doesn’t spin by itself, not alone with its thoughts,
More than just Charon

Oh, we’ll never give up, such a flawed definition
We will change their mind

It is frequently farther then suddenly closer
To the sun than its friend, yeah that is a poser
Neptune’s orbit isn’t clear yet that biased decree
Handed down by the clowns that run the I A U
Pluto’s always a planet to me

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Alexander Hollins

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