Why I’m Waiting to ‘Start’ My Own Business

I started this post last year and here I am finally finalizing it.

See, I had the idea of what I wanted to write and I knew there were other things I needed to accomplish first… now those things have been accomplished and my time has opened up for me to start being more serious about this ‘next’ phase of this journey into my ‘business’.

I wouldn’t even say I have a business. I simply have an idea of what I want to do with my time. In the future though, I want to somehow make it work for me and make some kind of income.

Three years ago, I was dead set on becoming a photographer. I had my camera, I had done a few shoots and made a website, bought business cards. I kept track of my progress and the number of shoots I did. There was growth, small, but it was there.

It was a trial run. I was balancing a hobby with a full time job, as well as struggling with the thoughts of, what do I really want to do in this life?

Before deciding to move, I had the amazing opportunity to work and assist with a very well known Pensacola photographer. Her work is amazing, her studio and brand is amazing, overall, she was just amazing.

I wouldn’t trade that opportunity for anything.

Too often I think we go through experiences and brush them off and not fully take in what you took away from it.

For one whole month, each weekend, I went to back to back weddings. Long nights and weekends and it immediately reminded me of my mom.

I could just hear her in my head.

When I was a kid, I was going to be an actor/singer. It’s what I wanted to do. & my mom would always tell me, baby, that job will require a lot of nights and weekends… do you really want that?

Of course I said yes, I didn’t know better.

But there I was, assisting with weddings, and I could just hear my mom saying long nights and weekends. And boy were some of those nights long.

Please don’t take this as complaining, but I was getting a full dose of the photographer reality. My desire, and my thoughts around ‘wanting’ to be a wedding photographer began to change.

It came to my attention that whatever business I was wanting to create around photography, may have weddings as something, but not my full attention/demographic/thing.

These last 6 months, I remade my website, I still took photos, but majority of them were selfies (my camera on a tripod with the camera on a set timer), posting on social media with my raw thoughts. Stalking through social media for other local creatives.

There was a minor set back. I lost my camera bag and half of my equipment.

Through it all, good, bad, and solely independent. I can’t help but realize that I enjoy creating.

You can’t create a wedding. There’s already a set script. It’s the same play, just different people, different color schemes, different families, coming together for love.

I want to create. I want to find people, find beautiful clothing, set dates and times to go out into gorgeous scenic areas, be in control, and take those photos.

It’s just how I create better content.

I’m glad I waited. And I’m still waiting. I’m peeling away all of these layers of what a photographer can be and slowly but surely, I’m figuring out what it means to me.

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