Two Firings and a Promotion
I’ve been in a dry spell with my writing this year. Depression and stress will do that to some people. Others create art; some work out; I eat and curl up into a ball. And then I get more depressed after my carb high.
I was fired from a job two Christmases ago, found another job three months later, got fired from that job, got evicted, and gave up my fur babies. These last two years have been a season!
It’s by no means anywhere as tough as what other people have gone through but it’s been enough to invite Sadness to sit with me.
I met her in the movie Inside Out and we’ve become buddies these last two years.
I used to run away from her, but I learned she’s good for me. I’ve learned to hang out with her on occasion and let her hold me in bed as I cry over missing my fur babies. She doesn’t stay as long and as often as she used to but I welcome her visits now.
I’ve missed writing. Missed vomiting words all over the place. Missed that vulnerable feeling when you hit “Publish.”
And then I saw my friend’s post on Instagram.
Hannah Rose is a geek and an artist. She can open up your broken computer, put it back together again, and sketch an excellent picture of you while doing it. Her post reminded me that I’ve been bullshitting myself into thinking my circumstances need to be better so I can feel inspired.
Inspiration is overrated. I think it’s cousins with Impromptu, Ad Lib, and Unprepared. I want to find Perspiration and its cousins Show Up, Do It, and Dedication.
I’m sitting at the library. The carpet is a loud pattern of pinks, blues, and greens. The beeping of books getting checked out for home visits, quiet footsteps, and muffled laughter hum in my periphery.
I’m not inspired but the space has free Wi-Fi, electrical outlets, and desks and chairs.
I decided to simply show up today and write.
Here I am two years out from the day I was fired before Christmas thinking about how I was just promoted at work to a full-time position in my role almost to the date of when I was let go from a job that wasn’t a good fit for me.
I love where I work, and I enjoy the people I work with. I’m in a job and place that’s the perfect fit for me.
I can’t help but pinch myself.