I don’t agree with calling them hypocrites, for one because it only alienates them more to your…
George Dorn
1

You don’t even understand asexuality. How do you propose to know better than I do what it takes to ‘convince’ someone to understand asexuality?

You started off this exchange by being wrong not only about what the article was meant to do but even just about what it means to be asexual. Based on Medium’s analytics, you spent 1 minute reading it and the more you try and lecture me about how to do my own work, the more it seems clear that, even if you DID read it, you didn’t understand it because you’re too busy being defensive about how you choose romantic partners to even listen to what I’m saying.

I do not have a ‘cause’. I do not write to convince people to not be jerks because that would be a pointless endeavour. At the end of the day, it’s the individual themselves that chooses to listen, that chooses to open their mind, that chooses to take something onboard. AND they have to choose to come to a conversation with me willing to learn. And if anything, this conversation is clear evidence of the fact that you can’t convince someone who isn’t willing to listen.

Despite the time that I’ve invested in this exchange and ALL of the keys I have typed, you STILL believe that you know better than I do how to fight my battles. Despite the fact that you clearly didn’t understand what the article was about and you assumed aspects of my sexuality that weren’t even discussed in the article.

You want to know why that is?

Because you didn’t come here to listen to me. You came here to lecture me. You came here to be defensive. You didn’t come here with an understanding that I, being asexual, know more about asexuality than you do and therefore, you had something to learn from me. You instead came here demanding not only to have the article and it’s concept explained to you but also came here believing that I am the one who, in this specific instance, needs to learn from you.

There are people who will learn something from what I write, who will be convinced. And those people are not people who come to me with an expectation that they know more than I do about my own issues. They are not people who come to tell me my own sexuality, who come to defend, who come to make excuses. But those people are already coming to the fray open minded. And I cannot control other people’s minds. I do not, and no one does, have the power to ‘convince’ someone.

The idea that you can ‘convince’ someone to care about any marginalised identity is ridiculous. If I could have ‘convinced’ people to care about ANY aspect of my identity, then the world wouldn’t be the way it is. People wouldn’t have died in protests and violent exchanges fighting for their rights, died in genocides, wars, concentration camps if, within the exchange of two people, one had the power to completely convince the other through words. That’s not a thing that exists. That’s just a thing you’re trying to pretend I can do so that you can make me feel bad for not being nice to you 100% here. But I’m not ignorant enough about how the world works to let you put that weight on my shoulders.

It is not within my power nor is it my job to ‘convince’ anyone of anything.

I wrote this to vent my feelings and to connect to other people who feel like me. If there are people who stop being jerks when they read this, hey that’s great.

But this isn’t for you or for anyone else who decides they know more about asexuality than I do when they aren’t asexual.

Bye.