My 5-word Webby Awards speech for

Fuck you Fuck you. are holding a contest for their 5 Word Webby Awards acceptance speech, to be read out by Freelancer CEO Matt Barrie. If you’re considering signing up as a freelancer on, don’t: it is a cesspit of work theft, unskilled labour, and exploitation.

Every facet of the platform is favoured against freelancers and all the unskilled, unemployed labourers who scavenge amongst it guised as “freelancers” simply and blatantly steal your work (entering it in other contests as their own). In the end there is only ever one winner on and the winner is…

So I’m posting my entry to their speech contest here on @Medium, but I won’t be surprised to see a “freelancer” entering it as their original work over there. I’ve heard Matt Barrie say, “Freelancer is the Ebay of the work world”, and he’s not wrong. It is that disgusting.

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