#entry 11. So why do cyclists shave legs?

Pango HQ bathroom

Question I’ve heard dozen of times. Every cyclist has, and it’s a bit tricky on how to answer the question.

I always say that I do it for the aerodynamic gains. Oh, this is so fun. It unleashes the inner 8th grade physics schoolboys/girls every single time and the discussion participants quickly start arguing that even if aerodynamic gains exist they are negligible because of this or that. It brings me pure joy see them proclaim the same argument hundreds of others have done before.

But let’s go back to the theory. Velominati rule #33 states:

Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times. If, for some reason, your legs are to be left hairy, make sure you can dish out plenty of hurt to shaved riders, or be considered a hippie douche on your way to a Critical Mass. Whether you use a straight razor or a Bowie knife, use Baxter to keep them smooth.

So what are the actual reasons? Here are the most common ones you hear around:

1. It makes post ride leg massage much more enjoyable
2. It allows the wounds to heal faster and it’s easier to replace bandages
3. It’s more aerodynamic (already discussed above)

To me - all perfectly valid reasons.

But here’s the deal. I have my own theory. Say you come to a group ride and you do not know anyone. You notice two guys. One of them is riding Specialized Venge, Dura Ace Di 2 of course, has a new Giro aero helmet, SWorks shoes, Garmin 1030, vector power pedals, his kit looks brand new. The other guy rocks up in slightly older model, slightly beaten up well known brand bicycle, he only has ultegra, you can see battle scars on his kit, bike is maintained and clean, but not pristine, all his gear has seen some action in life. Here’s the dilemma. Which one is a serious rider? Oh, I forgot to mention one key element — the guy with Venge has hairy legs, while the second guy has his guns shinning from that clean shave. Bro, that’s a no brainer. You see, shaven legs in our kind is something similar to how gazelles recognise their own by the shape of horns or deer recognize deers from their herd by white asses. You don’t need to know the guy, but if you see them legs shaven clean you know that he is one of your own.

Many debates on this question, but clearly the answer is to shine your guns and proudly display them to the world.

Over and out,

The Lone Thriver