Beyond the Lens of the Media: A Cultural Misunderstanding
An Inside Look on the Dynamic of an Asian Family
Picture this: you watch a trailer for a movie and it sparks your interests. The reviews are sub-par band your friends say it doesn’t live up to expectations. You go watch the movie despite your preconceived thoughts, it turns out that it was a great film. This is the same situation that people face when interacting with Asian families. Stereotypes and information placed on social media platforms distort the true reality of Asian families. Understanding the construct and proceedings of Asian families is important to see the truth behind Asian culture.

With the media serving as an influential tool in our lives today, what happens when information becomes misrepresented across media platforms and broadcasted for millions of people worldwide to see? This is exactly what has happened to Asian culture. Oriental family life has given rise to stereotypes that plague Asian families over social media and television. This skewing of information arises from lack of knowledge of Asian culture. Specifically, the media does not look in depth at Asian family structure nor understand why Asian parents are so strict on education and dating. Becoming educated on these aspects of Asian culture is necessary so that the media can represent the true reality of Asian familial life.
The Familial Hierarchy
The principle source of misunderstanding arises from lack of knowledge of Asian family structure. The structure of an Asian household dictates the responsibilities of each individual in the family. To begin, the construct of the Asian family is a patrilineal structure. The father in the family holds the highest position of power and is the source of ultimate authority within the household. This familial construct goes back to ancient China, where most of society was built around a hierarchy (Kang). Asian men have a heavy responsibility to provide for their families. One of the underlying reasons that Asian parents push their children into fields of high demand is economic stability. In order to provide for their family, men must have a stable enough occupation to fulfill the needs of food, shelter, and most importantly, education for their children. Boys know that they will be the head of the family and must always work hard to make sure that their family provided for. This aspect of male dominance in the family is correctly portrayed by the media.

For women, however, the media takes their familial role to be demeaning. Girls learn that their fundamental job is to raise children and look over the household. From a young age, they conform to the standard set by the Asian community that they are to be housewives and care for the children (Mudita). Women in Asian families accept this role and carry it out with pride. This concept is misunderstood and viewed as degrading by the media, representing this as inhibiting the capability of women to be independent and work for themselves. However, Asian culture upholds dependence on the male head of the family for financial support. Men and women have different roles in the family, working together as one unit rather than individuals solely living together.
Education in Asian Families: The Push for a Greater Future

In order to ensure economic stability for their children in the future, Asian parents are actively involved in their child’s academic careers, providing positive encouragement to succeed. It is a common stereotype that Asian parents are harshly strict and quite overbearing. However, this representation portrayed by the media and television can be blown out of proportion. Asian parents, like any other parents, want the best for their children. They look to raise their child in a way that ensures economic stability in the future. The way in which Asian parents go about this cultivation of the child differs from that of American familial style. This involvement of parents in the early stages of the child’s schooling and finds its roots in Confucian ideals of filial piety (Poon). Essentially, cultural belief upholds the idea that a child’s success in life depends heavily on parental engagement and cultivation. From the standpoint of the family, success means securing a job in a field of high demand such as medicine, law, or engineering. The ability of a child to obtain good grades and ultimately find a well paying job, thereby, is reflective of the parent’s ability to raise and guide that child. This Confucian ideology, intertwined with a strong sense of family honor, establishes a foundation for the child to succeed.

Becoming a doctor or lawyer is much more than just the title to the Asian family. Reaching this status brings honor to the family as well respect from those associated with the family. A child’s success in life is seen as a physical manifestation of the parent’s hard work. This personalized aspect of parenting is not captured by the media and can only be understood by dissecting the concept from inside the family itself.
When Push Comes to Shove
Social media platforms and television fail to capture the reason that parents are so strict. However, one aspect that the media does capture correctly is the effect this push for education can have on children of Asian families. Undoubtedly, the strong push towards education can be beneficial for the child; the intentions are good at heart, with the parents only wanting what is best for their son or daughter. Good intentions, however, can place too much pressure on the child from a young age.

Expectations, even with the intention for them to live a better life, can hinder the growth of the child. The parenting style of Asian parents is authoritarian, “displaying high control and tight monitoring” over their children (Van). Coming from an Asian family background, I can attest to this statement. Although I know that my parents want the best for me, sometimes they can go overboard in trying to keep me grounded in school. My parents, like many other Asian parents, emphasize the importance of education. They stress it to the point where there is little life beyond school and this can be detrimental to a student’s social life. In a study conducted by the University of California, San Diego, Asian students spent roughly thirteen hours a week doing homework, compared to other students who spent six hours at the most (Vuong). It becomes overwhelming for the student to handle the cultural expectations placed upon them. It is so commonplace for parents to want their child to become doctors and lawyers that most other professions, like music for example, are frowned upon and considered unworthy. Since the hierarchy is central to the familial structure, young adults and children cannot stand up to their parents; the parents are the ones in full control. This sense of control creates high levels of stress, ultimately leading to depression and anxiety (Seal). The all too familiar image of Asian students stressed out and on edge is accurately represented in the media.
Grasping the Future with a Ring
Lastly, the media captures the control of parents over their child’s dating life. Similar to education, the media does see the reason why this control exists. There are several factors that must be taken into account when a young adult wishes to begin dating in an Asian household. The first and most important criterion is stability and duty to the family. When a child of an Asian household begins to date, their significant other must be the same social class (Dao). This is to ensure financial stability. Duty to the family is equally as important. If the boyfriend or girlfriend is deemed irresponsible by the family, there is no possibility of marriage in the future. The other person must be able to be responsible and care for the children. In westernized culture, relationships stem from love and care for each other. This is where the differences in culture come into play. The family has a great deal of influence on potential relationships in Asian culture. The father and mother of the family have the ultimate say in who their child will marry. It is not about love or care, but rather if the future is stable. In American culture, one is able to decide who to marry, basing the decision off of love and the vision of a potential happy life with the significant other. The media, stemming from the United States, understands American culture but this knowledge overshadows the Asian concept of marital life. The reality is that the circumstances for marriage are completely different for the two cultures; the media casts a shadow of American culture over Asian heritage, not understanding that the two are substantially independent.
In order to understand where the misrepresentation of culture in the media comes from, one must consider the culture of Asian people. Although some information in the media is accurate, most images are not correctly represented. Placing oneself inside the family and understanding culture is important because it allows one to understand where the media is right and also the faults of social platforms. Not everything on the web should be believed upon first encounter.
