42 Piscine Day 6
Edit: This is part of a series that culminated here, Next post. Previous post.
Edit2: I consolidated all the posts of the piscine daily posts here
Edit3: You can read up about what it’s like as a cadet at 42 here
Day 04 was due, I didn’t get it turned in. I was too busy trying to understand the stuff for the rush00 project and trying to understand concepts like arrays and pointers, day04 was all about recursion, which I sort of understand but not nearly enough. I tried to put in some time to work on it at night but my brain was mush so it didn’t happen, couldn’t happen. I need to prioritize better, and try to be working on things a day ahead I think. No new assignments today but I do need to finish the rush00 project and work on the sastantua project which I don’t yet fully understand. The gist of it seems to be though that we are visually displaying a pyramid with a door, and it sort of works like a fractal. Also I’m tempted to try and get a head start on the next assignments (05) so that this never happens again.
A girl here tried to put together a study session last night, I was the only one that didn’t fail the test that showed up. It went alright for about 15 minutes and then people who liked hearing themselves talk dominated the conversation and other people trickled out. I think this may evolve into a test prep session next Thursday night, which I think would be the best use really. I may have to take a little more charge and be the organizing girls lieutenant to help it run smoother or something.
My roommates smoking continues to be a problem, I woke up coughing and my lungs are congested, their smoking is actually making me sick, I really do need to switch rooms. I’m contemplating sleeping with a surgical mask on or looking into air purifiers, but I have no idea if those would help. Part of the problem is that everyone else who has offered I could room with them also smoke, but I don’t think to the degree of my current roommates, I also think most of them do it outside (I can’t confirm that my roommates smoked in the room, but I can’t explain why they carry so much of a smell with them or why it’s irritating my sinuses so much, perhaps they hotbox the car, or maybe they are actually smoking in the room which would get them kicked out, which is part of why I hesitate to ask to move). It feels petty to ask for a room change, but I seriously haven’t slept well in over four days, and this really will make me sick if the trend continues.
Speaking of my roommates though, they have already signed up for the next piscine, which I’m not sure how to do other than using a new email, perhaps that is the how of it. I did tell my job I was coming back, other than breaking my word about that though I‘m ok with not going back, I don’t really have a place to stay and was going to rent an AirBnB while I worked a few more months to save money before coming up here accepted. So what I lose is a bit of money making and a bit of integrity. I’d like to do the piscine again though even if I do get accepted to understand a bit better. I’ll think on it, I’ll probably try to sign up for it and then have the option available. Keeping my word matters to me though, but at the same time I was feeling really done with that job, already gave sufficient notice and at worst I pushed back their posting of my old position by a week or two, so not that bad. All my life I’ve been one to sacrifice what I needed to help those around me, most crappy situations in my life have been exactly these types of situations, where if I had prioritized what I needed over what other people asked for or what I assumed they wanted then the problem wouldn’t have happened. Which now becomes a more interesting question self preservation vs integrity. If a man dies for a lost cause is he a fool or a hero?
Which brings this full circle almost. The piscine itself is more than anything teaching us to be proactive, to do and ask and take responsibility instead of being given or handed things. To seek out the answer and figure things out instead of being told what to do. Which is exactly what I need, though it’s a hard medicine to take.
I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, even though I’m barely sleeping, my brain turns to mush everyday and I’ve never felt so dumb. This is right, and it’s time to get back to work.
Other thoughts: what we often mistake for intelligence is actually familiarity and preparation.
