Sit Alone and BE.

Becky Elizabeth
Nov 3 · 4 min read
Photo Credit: Aly McLean

When I was a Junior in college I took an incredible Counseling Psychology course. My professor was the most brilliant man I have ever had the privilege of learning from. One day in class Dr. Kushing presented us with a question...

“What’s the most important thing in your life?”

Not surprisingly every student in the class came up with the same answer. Family and friends. Dr. Kushing smirked as we each proclaimed the same thing. When we finished going around the circle, he shook his head with a smile.

“I disagree,” he said. “The most important thing in every person’s life… is their health.”

Damn. How hadn’t I thought of that? Intellectually it made complete sense to me, but it took another fifteen years for me to really understand what Dr. Kushing was actually trying to tell us.

There is no journey more selfless than that of motherhood. Of course we all envision family life as this beautiful, magical, wonderful thing. And it is! But it’s also really difficult. After the birth of my daughter I found myself isolated, depressed, and exhausted with my everyday life. How could it be that I had my beautiful, amazing, perfect, sweet baby girl and still be so miserable?

Everyday was a repeat of the last. From the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed I was busy, mostly with tasks pertaining to taking care of people other than myself. Some days… lots of days… finding time to enjoy the simple pleasure of taking a hot shower seemed like a very distant memory.

With the arrival of my son four years later, things went from almost manageable to completely impossible. I’d sit and wonder, “How do people do this? Why does everyone else seem to have it all together? I’m such a terrible mother.” I felt like shit. I looked like shit. And I treated myself like shit… Until things got so bad I could no longer ignore and mistreat myself.

My anxiety had gotten completely out of control. I found myself wrestling with unwanted thoughts from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was torturous. Mostly I was able to hide that I was struggling, but any moment I got alone was spent crying. I felt completely broken, and I couldn’t bare it any longer. So I finally admitted out loud what was happening in my head. Doing so gave me permission to start putting my own needs first.

Self-care is not selfish. It’s necessary. I realized this shortly after I started taking time for myself. It gave me the space I needed to heal my mind, heart, and body from a lifetime of my own mistreatment. Multiple times a week I’d go to a restorative yoga class. I started taking hot baths, and gave myself time to meditate for at least twenty minutes everyday. I started socializing a little more, and began to find joy outside my home. And slowly things started shifting.

The voice in my head stopped screaming at me, because I had learned how to stop screaming back. And I started to realize that just allowing my emotions to express themselves, helped me move past them. In doing so, I’ve become more available to my children, and am better able to handle the stresses of parenthood. But just like you, I still struggle with some serious guilt when I put own needs first.

But listen… You are worthy. You deserve a break. You’re children need you to show up as the best version of yourself. That’s impossible to do when your own needs reside on the back burner. When I created The Mindful Child, I didn’t just do it for your kids. I did it for YOU.

Creating a safe space for children while their parents and caregivers take some much needed time for themselves, has always been at the forefront of my mission. It is my hope that you will focus on you… Whatever that may look like.

It might be running errands alone. Or going to the gym. Maybe it’s a massage or a manicure. Or if you’re anything like me, maybe you need a few moments to allow yourself to cry. Because life is hard. It wasn’t ever meant to be easy, but it is meant to be beautiful… Including all of our many emotions.

Whenever you’re ready… I’m here.

Namaste.

Becky

Becky Elizabeth

Written by

Mother. Entrepreneur. Creator. Lover of Life.

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