Mind Full or Mindful: Which are you?
Life is often frantic, juggling the demands of work, children, a busy household — the list-making, the planning, the household responsibilities, the financial obligations, the worry, the anxiety, the concern — everything you do day in and day out to manage your life and those that depend on you — the mental load is intense!
I certainly felt like this when I returned to work after my daugther was born, which is why I have set up The Mindful Rise campaign. This is a campaign that I hope will enocurage others who are looking for greater balance in their lives to live more mindfully and seek out things that are good for the mind, body and soul.
My story
Life at home and work couldn’t have been more stressful. Two children under the age of four, a partner busy building his own business, a household to manage, a big full time job hold down — and did I mention the cat?! I had to think about childcare arrangements, school trips, school meetings, assemblies, lunch money, library books, homework, doctors appointments, birthday parties, food shopping, meal times, the washing, gymnastics classes, football training, dentist appointments, birthday cards, bills, holiday planning — not to mention the sleepless nights and the fact I was completely neglecting my own wellbeing. Well, the little people always come first don’t they… I was running on empty and there was no more fuel left in the tank.
I had worked my way up in the world of media and advertising. I was proud of my career and all I had achieved. I had worked my socks off to get there, and my career was imporatant to me — but it fast became incompatibale with family life. When my children asked me for things, my mind was busy thinking about the board report I had to write, the emails I needed to answer, the deadlines I had to meet — the pressure was overwehleming and I felt like I had a woodpecker permantly pecking away at my head.
I also never do anything halfheartedly and as a result end up putting immense pressure on myself. I thought this was a positive thing. However, what I didn’t realise is that by me doing my ‘best’ it meant pushing myself to breaking point. I felt like there were a million tabs open in my head all at the same time.
I was also so busy thinking about everyone else, that I had lost sight of who I was. I did nothing for myself anymore and my self-confidence was shattered to pieces. I suppose my career was the one thing left that helped to define me — at least the pre-family me. Without my career to help define me, I was just ‘so and so’s mum’ — who was I?
If you change nothing, nothing will change
There was nothing left for me to give. I had worn myself down, trying to be the best I could be at home and the best I could be at work, but secretly feeling as though I was failing at both. This left me feeling gulity and unhappy most of the time. Something had to change. I had no time to recharge, to reflect, to be still. I was trapped in a downward spiral of negative self talk and being my own worse critic. So, I did the one thing I had wanted to do since my son was born six years prior and I quit the rat race. Just like that. I just walked away.
Was I mad to just chuck it all in? No. I needed to put my own emotional, mental and physical wellbeing first, and the wellbeing of my family. I took a leap of faith, faced my fears, listen to my heart and trusted that I would find a way — and I did.
I was not the same person I was before I had children and these little people were growing up fast. I wanted to be in the moment with them, helping them to grow and learn. I was lucky enough to be able to take the summer off, where I spent days at home with my children in our pyjamams, took sunny walks in the park, played, talked, read stories, made things, had fun — and I took the time to really listen to them. It also gave me the chance to stop and breathe. To look inwardly and think about me and the direction I wanted to take from this point forward. I had spent years jumping from one thing, straight into the next on autopilot. At last was able to slow down, pay attention to my thoughts and feelings without judgement and focus on the present moment.
A more mindful me…
To bring about positive change, you need to first make some changes, so I did. I joined a yoga and meditation class and completed a mindful parenting workshop at The Mindfulness Project. I also decided to swap my full on full time corportate job for a part time role working two days a week for a television broadcaster, and on the other three days I started networking and freelancing, fitting my work in around the school run.
Is it still a juggle? You bet. Was it the right decision? Absolutely. Do I look back? Not way Jose. I feel helathier, happier, calmer, less stressed, more mindful and more balanced. My days are varied and more fulfilling. I more patient, aware and more grateful everyday for the simple things in life — because it is the memories that we make, the time that we have together, what we experience in the here and the now that are important. It is the little things in life that end up being the big things.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by all that life is throwing at you, want to find out more about mindfulness and things that are good for the mind, body and soul, please follow me. There will also be the chance to put some mindfulness challenges to the test!
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