Escaping the Outrage Cycle — Means You Must Escape the Chaos Cycle
In a 2 part piece piece I posted February 6th, about Trump’s Chaos Manufacture & learning to work against it, I sent similar messages as Arianna Huffington, I see — which suggests it’s an important message. If coming from a different angle — they ended up in the same place — secure your own oxygen mask, first:
Part of avoiding outrage — is understanding something about what is coming, and having a plan in place for when it inevitably hits. It’s not wise for your emotional state, to know a tornado is out there, knocking into precious things, all over your country—and then to leave yourself to be both unprepared technically, and emotionally when it hits. It’s coming, and there are many things you can do to brace, and plan. That is what my piece attempts to advise — this reply to Arianna Huffington is a little crash course on my piece, since it contains my suggestions.
OF COURSE you are still going to be upset when the Trump administration bans Muslims from our country, elects someone with billions of dollars but no experience to a Secretary position, or kicks millions off of health care — but we can predict, in many ways, that he is going to take these kinds of actions. The advice that exists about Chaos Manufacture (which I tailored for Trump & crew) paints an accurate picture of his general behavior — and what we can expect. A couple of examples, include:
It’s okay to be upset, it’s a normal reaction — but you don’t also have to be utterly unprepared — gutted and floored — paralyzed, with no idea of what to do next — and unable to look at the news for fear of what’s coming. It comes whether you look, or not.
Now is the time to create what I (half-jokingly — half-seriously) called “a constant emergency tool kit.” So you know it’s ready, when you need it.
You are exactly on the right path. The ‘constant-emergency toolkit’ (or whatever you want to call yours) consists of resources like the 5 Calls website—and having it right there, and ready, knowing if something you don’t approve of happens, you don’t have to scream “WHAT CAN I DO?” — you can immediately go there — and make the suggested calls if no other action comes to mind.
Trump doesn’t deserve our passion and emotion in every moment of every day — a Chaos Manufacturer certainly wants that — why would we give it to him? I am not looking to satisfy, or fall victim to Trump, without a fight — are you?
We are a very important part of how to ease one another’s stress, outrage, and to outsmart Trump’s Chaos Manufacture. One key piece advice from therapists in handling the behavior of a person like this, is don’t try to handle any crisis alone.
If you want to feel a constant and personal connection to the resistance, your best bet is to find a buddy — a small group of buddies — somebuddies, with whom you can co-parent the resistance. Keep each other in the loop when one of you has too much work to do, or someone needs a mental break — take turns with actions, meetings or protests and report back to one another. You can’t do it all — and you shouldn’t try to.
Figure out how you can avoid being caught in a constant cycle of chaos, or outrage, and still make a contribution — that is your sweet spot.
The overarching message here, and in my pieces — and in Arianna Huffington’s piece, may just escape you — but it is a message that makes a lot of sense, knowing you are dealing with a man, and an administration who is hell bent on chaos (even though Trump denied they are chaotic — and instead a fine-tuned machine — that isn’t exactly what I said a couple weeks ago…).
The big message is — as we suggest all of this conscious preparedness, awareness and planning and readying — the enemy of chaos is organization. React with a plan, instead of with unbridled emotion — leave the narcissistic rage fits, to the so-called president.
First, organize yourself, then organize with others… that is what our oxygen is — organization. Although, Arianna Huffington is right — actual air is good too — breathe — exercise — meditate! That image of air/space is important.
The #1 advice for dealing with a Chaos Manufacturer is to get yourself, and your belongings away from them.
Unfortunately, we do not have that option, exactly, in this unique relationship. It is involuntary, and pervasive entanglement for millions more of us who voted for the candidate who won the popular vote. So — the ‘more safe and more secure place’ must, in many ways, be a mental space — or virtual space. Find these spaces, and make them an important part of your tool kit — of your everyday.
I hope if this info interested you, you’ll read more in my piece. I have been collecting some good ‘constant emergency toolkit’ links this past month & should post it soon — for myself, if no one else. I think people are doing a great job, so far — but some suffer from more anxiety than others — it’s okay to help, or ask for help!