The MVP Project: The morning after…

Well.. Not that “The Morning after” though just as interesting ☺

So after months of convincing myself that i was ready, telling the people close to me about it, and assuring those same people that this time was DIFFERENT.. I did it!

I took 2 days to fully pack everything i need to live, in my 15 year old compact car. There was literally no more room for anything, and my rear view mirror view was even partially obstructed.

I said goodbye to my significant other and my pets. Not sure who i will miss more. Ok, though i will miss my pets dearly, im not sure exactly how i am going to live with out my mate, with whom, i would not be where im at. More on this later.

So, i took off on my journey to cross many US states, to get to a place where i want to be, and to begin living the life i truly desire.

I made it about 5 hours before my eyes were having trouble staying open, and grabbed the cheapest Motel6 i could find at 41.00 a night. And this included tax!

Its one of these places that you clearly wonder about the safety of the items in your car while your sleeping. As a result, i took most of the big things into the room with me. The signs posted on the building about not being responsible for items left in your car was a big motivator.

Several close people are calling and wondering how far i got. One of my closest friends says “Dude, you drove like 15 miles ??” actually it was about 300..

I wake up ready to get back on the road, but quickly realize that this is game on. I actually did it. I actually packed my car, left my family, and started driving across the US.

I thought to myself, wow! Nobody is doing this. Nobody sane at least. Nobody with a pretty good job like i have. With a great family like i have. With seemingly a good life one would think. Who does this ?

This is what it is like to live with ADHD. Those of us who have it, understand it. Those who dont probably believe i am a jackass who should stay put, enjoy my life, and be responsible. It is really difficult to understand, and its important to realize that the spectrum of the disorder is so dynamic with ADHD and other similar mental disorders, that no two people could ever be compared. Though the reality is that with or without the disorder this is true for humans.

I cant live like an average citizen or person, because its not who i am. Though you dont need to have ADHD to be unique, it has allowed me to truly understand my uniqueness, and even given me the “EXCUSE” to be who i should be un life. Hey maybe this is a good thing. Hmmmmm.

So, as i sit on the bed in my 41.00 room at 10:30am, when i wanted to leave at 8, i am writing this. This is interestingly enough exactly how ADHD works. When you should be doing one thing, you will usually do something else. You lack the ability to stay on focus with your work or goals. (More later on this)

But the dichotomy here is this is finally a time that i think i am doing the right thing. Though i took off on my life and my seeming responsibilities, i am doing what i truly believe in. And while i am almost 3 hours late in leaving (pretty norm for ADHD), i am doing what i think is important, and more in alignment with why i am doing what im doing.

So while my brother is calling and texting me to get up and get on the road, because he knows me well, its more important to focus on my journey, my mind, my project, than to just get on the road. The MVP Project is much bigger than me getting to my geographical location. Its about getting to my psychological location. Its about taking measures to assure i do the specific things i need to remain focused and driven on the task at hand.

So, yes its the morning after. Sure, i am feeling a bit weird alone in my 41.00 motel6 room as im hearing the motel maintenance workers hammering and sawing in the adjoining room..

But i have done it! I started my journey to the life i have been dreaming about for many years. Its not going to be easy by any means, but nothing worth anything in life is easy. I am focused, i am taking my meds to help regulate my condition ( more on this later), and i am sure i have made the right decision. Though i have made a lifetime of impulsive and irresponsible decisions, i feel satisfied knowing, this isnt one of those times.

The morning after, i feel as good about the decision as i did last night. I am special, and yes i have ADHD… a gift that the world will not only see, but will benefit from…

Shower, Stetch, and Drive.. A long ride to St Louis….