The Little Mermaid Retold for Gen Z: A Sassy Tale of Love, Rebellion, and Unapologetic Villainy

Once upon a time, in a world where fish can talk and sing, there lived a rebellious little mermaid named Ariel. She was a total mood — always daydreaming about the world above the sea and singing pop songs with her BFF, Flounder. Ariel’s dad, King Triton, was a total mood killer, always nagging her about the human world and warning her to stay away from humans. But you know how it is with parents — the more they tell you not to do something, the more you want to do it.

So one day, when Ariel saw a hot human prince named Eric on a ship, she was like “OMG, he’s so fine, I gotta get me some of that.” She saved Eric from drowning and brought him to shore, but she had to make a deal with a shady sea witch named Ursula to become human for three days in exchange for her voice. Ariel was like, “whatever, I can still slay without my voice.”

But here’s the tea — Eric was already taken by this basic AF princess named Vanessa. Ursula had used Ariel’s voice to trick Eric into thinking Vanessa was the one who saved him, and Ariel was like “hell no, that basic bitch ain’t taking my man.” So she and her squad of sea creatures crashed Eric’s wedding and revealed Vanessa’s true form as Ursula. Eric was like “oh sh*t, Ariel is the one I want,” and they lived happily ever after.