For When You Feel Like You’re Not Doing Enough
In an age of power lists, thought leader tags, online branding, awards and recognitions, how do you feel less anxious and undistracted?
Oh I’ve been meaning to write this. Mostly because this is a topic that has given me a headache just thinking about it. I will approach this matter by telling a story of my own experience with said topic.
New media/Social media has given us all wings to fly. It has made fame accessible to whomever has access to the internet. The new resumé is your online profile which is also referred to your online personal branding. Money is being made off individuals eager to be handed the keys to the online kingdom. It’s a whole new value chain of opportunities.
Social media has presented us with another category of currency — followers. Then there’s the internal war of whether or not you have enough, and whether you can pull off being an influencer for the brands of your dream.
Social media also makes it really easy to compare and contrast lives. They’ve given everyone a podium to command attention. Once you have something that can be fetishized, you already have an audience. I sat through a masterclass on personal branding once and I didn’t sleep well for the next couple days. I had panic attacks and so much anxiety because I was almost convinced that I was probably never going to have the perfect professional profile online. It felt like there was a template that the glamorous entrepreneurs followed and if I wasn’t following that template, then I was failing at something. I wasn’t ticking the boxes of frequent travels, designer clothing, expensive meals, famous people friendships, numerous public speaking engagements, and many more.
To compensate for my losses, I would scour through the internet for fellowships and opportunities to become better and increase my brand’s equity as was taught. Said equity would increase chances of getting speaker referrals online, presence, visibility, recognitions, award nominations, you name it. And the anxiety continued.
It’s often a vicious cycle of trying to stay relevant and a war on your mental health. You begin to tie your growth and accomplishments to recognitions — because you think the recognitions mean you’re doing incredibly well.
If you can really relate to this, you might want to pause and take deep breaths and continue reading.
New media/social media has changed the game, but you don’t have to lose your mind. Yes, there are many people younger than you, Ivy League graduates, landed the perfect job, flying around for international meetings and yes, they are letting you know how great their lives are on the internet. This display of an exotic lifestyle won’t stop, this measurement of accomplishments by award platforms won’t stop. And you have to become okay with that. You don’t have to hate it, you don’t have to detest it, all you need to do is focus on what truly makes you mentally sane and brings you peace. No hiding behind false personas.
I woke up one day and said to myself, “You need to stop struggling & panicking!” I had to reconcile with myself, I had to remind myself of what mattered. I had to remember the story of Amancio Ortega, founder of Inditex Fashion Group. Never liked or did many interviews, he made his major moves quietly and only involved the right people at the right times. I realized why my spirit was so restless; new media “queens and kings” were trying to teach me to be someone entirely different from who I am. There was a metaphorical play book that I could not follow. I decided I could write my own play book, after all new media has given us that liberty to decide to engage with it on our own terms. And this is what the masterclasses don’t teach us, that we can decide to engage or not engage. That we can still focus on the real thing like perfecting our business service offerings because this actually impacts our bottomline. The focus is shifting and changing in more harmful ways; events like meet & greets, hangouts with seemingly “successful” people, motivational seminars on how to be a boss do not add to your bottomline. I am exhausted, and it’s become so cringeworthy.
Focus on the grind, focus on nailing your product/service, focus on building innovative business models, focus on having an irresistible creative business brand, focus on your sales tactics, focus on the impact your business makes, focus on your personal growth points, focus on achieving finesse as a business & person.
I am working my confidence right. I am giving myself the credit I deserve for my hardwork. I am protecting my peace, my sanity and my liberty. I am ignoring unwanted pressure. I am choosing to grow at the pace I deem fit at the time. I am choosing to only invest in things that have a direct impact on my bottomline, and generally things that will only come naturally to me. Geekiness and intelligence are still sexy, teaching real technical skills that can be applied to work is still sexy, and that is the kind of masterclass or workshop I would subscribe to.
You are completely in charge of your life and you can determine how well you’re doing, not algorithms or noise. Do the work first, and enjoy the benefits as they come. Improve your skills, learn more, stay updated with new technology, apply your skills and change the game.
How have you dealt with the pressures of not doing enough? Write me a private note :-)
