How to not be angry at the things I can’t change.

I believe in the idea that we all have a finite amount of energy every day we’re living. And anger takes up a lot of energy.

So why am I…


During an isolating pandemic.

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Florida weather is almost as confused as I am! Photo by the author.

This morning I had a conversation with my mother about people who have different goals in life. We all know the person who does anything and everything for their career, no matter what it takes. We also know the person who lives their life in the moment, sans pressure to have a “reputation in the industry”.

As a young professional who wants a bit of both, I am truly torn.

We live in different times

The world no longer works in the way it used to. Or should I say, people?

With a global pandemic happening at a time where many of the world’s workers have access to an internet connection, the rise of working remotely is only increasing. …


MAP NEWS

Say researchers at MIT

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Middle schoolers photographed by Jeswin Thomas on Unsplash wearing gallons of Axe.

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Researchers all over the world have been focused on finding a vaccine for COVID-19. Although there’s progress on that front, most are skeptical on current measures taken for prevention: particularly the pitfalls of social distancing in federally-decentralized nations like America.

The academic and private science communities have focused most of their efforts on R&D for a coronavirus vaccine, with little room for improving current prevention methods. But not for this group of scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

“While high R&D funding for a vaccine is great, we still need a way to live securely while that R&D is happening. It will be a while until vaccines can logistically distribute to all Americans, so we’re developing better solutions for preventing the spread of COVID-19,” Dr. …


SATIRE

Lonely panhandlers flood the streets to find meaning

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Original photo by Rogério S. on Unsplash. Photo modified by the author.

And you thought that the worst thing has already happened to our cities.

Amid an American period characterized by political raucous and Twitter trolliage, cities have experienced the worst of COVID consequences. The problems of homelessness and eviction — two of many issues cities face nationwide — are only exacerbated by the pandemic.

If you thought the worst had come for cities, well, we caught you with your pants down.

The next COVID crisis to attack our cities? Lonely panhandlers.

“I need to be around real people”

Theodore was just a wealthy young professional living a big life in the Big Apple.

“I graduated with honors from Cornell and got recruited to work for Goldman Sachs when I was only nineteen,” mentioned Theodore. “For years I’ve been living it up in New York. So many restaurants, so many prostitutes, so much money.” …


We have it here, exclusively for you.

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Photo by Patrick Perkins on Unsplash

MIAMI, FL — Local Medium writer and pre-pandemic globetrotting badass Pam Gaslow has reportedly dropped a record of her greatest hits. From classics such as I’m 50 And It’s Not Funny to How To Become A Successful Writer: The 50 Year Plan, you’ll definitely not want to miss out on this.

EMI Records, the label who backed Pam since her early hits from five months ago, told us that they should have a remastered version of the remastered version by Cyber Monday of this year.

Okay, we don’t want to take any more of your time from jamming, so let’s shoot the shit. …


Others stopped emailing because of “subscription guilt”

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Photo by Richard Jaimes on Unsplash

NEW YORK, NY — It’s been reported that another overly anxious millennial deleted their email app in Manhattan.

“I couldn’t take it anymore,” mentioned Matt Berger, a 28 year-old marketer in the city.

“These days most of my emails aren’t even for work. Now we have Slack for that. I get more emails from advertisers than I do from coworkers or business leads.”

“While I’m upset that Matt deleted his email app, I can’t really do anything about it,” replied Matt’s Boss, whose real name is Matt’s Boss. …

About

Noah Levy

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Lifelong learner. Sometimes I write satire, but it’s kinda true…Want to say hi? Email me! noahlevywriter@gmail.com

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