India is a colourful country, and the colour of your skin plays a significant role while navigating various social contours.
But wait, before you start thinking that Indians are racist, allow me to make it crystal clear and break it down for you bit by bit. Being an African in India is certainly challenging, it’s a journey characterized by a treachorous path full of cultural potholes and rocky social experiences. However, the experience is indispensable, a profoundly moulded experience that can only be acquired within the mystical realms of majestic India.
What do you need to know about Indians?
Brethren, you ought to know that there are two types of Indians. There is one category of Hindustaanis that wear ignorance like a badge of honour. They stare without blinking and without shame, they will call you Negro and smile spitefully. You will find this kind everywhere, in the metro, restaurants, tea shops, everywhere.
Indians will teach you the ’N’ Word and what it actually means
At this moment, ‘Nigger’ will mean something more than a ‘cool’ word to throw around in HipHop Rap videos. It will itch, sending a chilling effect down your spine, and all your nerves will erupt like a volcano. Your face will burn when rage flows over your countenance like molten magma. Your patience will be tested, your self-control under attack and your fist tightly clenched ready to swing a killer blow. Brethren, this will be your fist lesson in India, that silence and a smile confuses an approaching enemy. Don’t say a word, walk with your head high and plan your moves like a grand master. Remember to refrain from violence or any form of altercations.
They will show you love and give you a new name..
After a couple of sunsets in India, you will earn yourself a new tittle,they will start calling you Baba. Baba’s in India are devotees of Lord Shiva who denounced society and chose the path of austerity. They spend a remarkable time of their life smoking marijuana and meditating. And that my friend, is the name they give you, The weed smoker. When they call you Baba, apply the golden rule, Smile and let them know that you are not baba.then tell them your name and you will be surprised how friendly they become.
Remember, they are not your friends yet, they can be very fickle. If you attend to them keenly, you will begin to understand and attach a rationale to their demeanor. They operate on several basic assumptions; you are either from Nigeria or South Africa. They don’t know what or where is Africa. So don’t be offended when they don’t get the your nationality in the first instance. The second assumption is that you are inherently a drug peddler, or least a weed smoker and you are always carrying micro-doses with you. The third assumption which always arrives in form of a mind boggling question is why your skin is black and whether your hair is original or fake.
Let me tell you about the good Indians
Considering the population, the number of good people in this country beats any stretch of human imagination. They will serenade you, fill your plate with sweets and masala chai, they will adorn you with flowers and share your photos on all social media platforms. They will call you Dhost, Bhai, Bhabhi, dhidhi and all those colourful words of endearment. They will teach you curse words and ask you to say it to every other indian you come across. And when you do, they won’t be offended. Brother, when this occurs to you, buy yourself the finest wine, because you have cracked the Da Vinci code.
If you are planning to study or work in India, i’ll tell you about the good ones in my next article……….