The Big Chop & Your Boo

Author: Candis Johnson

The Nubian Crown
Aug 26, 2017 · 3 min read

It can be quite a controversial topic at times when it comes to discussing going natural, with your significant other. I’ve seen or heard a lot of women get a little annoyed at the thought and often question, “why should I ask permission or his opinion?? It’s my hair!” While this is true, when you have someone special in your life, that you see a future with, big decisions and small are usually made better together.

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1. Why I discussed my chop with my husband.

Well for one he’s my husband. My other half which means we’re one. Now while I wasn’t seeking permission, I did want his opinion and reaction. When we met I had really long hair and for years that’s what he was used to. Going natural is one thing, but chopping is another. While I know I’m more than looks to him, I still want him attracted to me with changes I make. And vice versa, I love his mustache and beard and would hate to see it go! It’s part of who he is.

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2. Hair Raising Conflict

Now I know there are plenty of men who love the natural look on women and embrace the roots just as we do and are further learning to. However, there are some men who for them, it’s just not their preference…and that’s ok! Which is why I think it’s both necessary and respectful to invite your mate in on a conversation about cutting your hair and expressing why. If he’s all for it, great! If not, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over or you have to protest, stomp and give the silent treatment until he concedes. There are solutions.

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3. Compromise the Crown

Maybe before the big chop happens, you both can research some styles that you like and let him check out and pick some too. Make it fun and something you both can enjoy as you evolve into this new phase and look. Or possibly buy a wig that will come close to what you’re hoping to accomplish with the chop to give a sneak peek. You can also discuss a slower transition from what he’s used to, that way you both get what you want.

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4. You’re Right Though…it’s your Hair

Now at the end of the day yes, that hair is yours to do with what you please. I’m not suggesting a panel discussion when casually dating. I do think seriously committed, engaged or married women should give their honeys the benefit of including them on such a drastic physical change to their appearance. Just as we would want to know if they’re deciding to go bald, or get locs, lose the facial hair or grow it. When the love and commitment is sincere, he won’t stop you and will love you just the same, but feeling that his opinion matters will help all the more.

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The Nubian Crown

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'Wear Your Crown With Pride' ™|Promoting Healthy Hair Care For Black Afro Hair. As Seen In Essence Magazine.

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