COASTAL LIBERALS LOOK DOWN ON TRUMP VOTERS? YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DO.

The new story taking shape is that smug liberal elites are somehow responsible for Donald Trump. According to this story, we ignored and humiliated our small-town rural heroes to such a degree that their way of life all but disappeared, and then, once we had so evilly dispatched with their way of life, we showered them with such condescension that they literally had no choice but to vote for a maniac. This is preposterous on all fronts.

So let’s take it apart, piece by piece.

First, we did not destroy your way of life. We did not compel you to shop exclusively at Walmart and abandon your main streets. We did not compel you to vote against your economic interests again and again and again. We did not compel you to live in fear of real and imagined enemies. We did not compel you to slash funding to your schools, to shutter your libraries, to abandon your reason for madness, to fill up your god-given minds with a corrosive cocktail of agitprop, rage and ignorance.

You squandered your own way of life.

Although you had been given every opportunity and every privilege, you refused to educate yourselves and build yourselves up toward real power, position and prosperity. You refused to read the signs, to see that every trajectory pointed toward a long and stable decline of human manufacturing. We tried to help. We tried to give you community colleges, unemployment benefits, higher minimum wages, worker protections, environmental justice, cutting edge technology, a strong safety net, affordable health insurance, and above all, a sound public education. You refused those things because we taught real science in the classroom, argued for miniature gun reforms, and because we believe that every woman is capable of making her own reproductive choices. If the conditions in your community are abysmal, then take some responsibility for them. We didn’t vote in your governors and state legislatures. We didn’t decline to send you our hard earned taxes just so that your governors and state legislatures could say no thanks. Take some personal responsibility for your own messes. Man up.

And that brings me to the second part of my rejection of this argument. Are you really so fragile that you care what we think about you? We don’t care what you think about us. No adult should spend any significant amount of time worrying about what others think of him. But you do. You care so much that you got vindictive, so vindictive that you wanted to hurt us at any cost, so vindictive that you’d elect a man with no morality or allegiance to the constitution. I thought you cared about those things.

So yes, I look down on you. You voted for a con man, a man who will do anything to satisfy his own ego. He’s not going to help you. He’ll probably do a ton of damage to the world. But you won’t care or know — you’ll be too busy reading fake news stories about how Hillary Clinton runs a pedophile ring and has made secrete deals to trade uranium with Putin. While Trump works to Make America Great Again for himself and his cabinet of billionaires, you will be sinking ever further into an unreal hell of your own making.

We coastal liberals will keep living in reality by educating ourselves, tackling real problems, powering the economy, reading books, and making the real world a better place. We’ll keep fighting for those real and complex things we believe in: things like the environment, criminal justice reform, gender equality, science, art, peace and prosperity — sacred things that benefit all mankind. But you don’t “believe” in these things. You don’t even accept the validity of basic science, or so you’ve ranted again and again on the mother of all scientific products: the internet.

That’s why I look down on you. You squandered your own position. You blamed everyone but yourselves, and when that didn’t work, you opted to make a mess of our entire system. But you won’t clean it up. You can’t even clean up the coal-slurry in your own rivers. You know who will be cleaning up your shit? The coastal elites. And while we clean up the milk that you dumped on the floor like a tantrum-throwing toddler, go to your room and think about what you’ve done.