Canadian Sex Acts

With Interactive Map

by theOriginalOpie

They are doing some amazing work up there in Canada. However, the real questions are where are they doing it? How many people are doing it? And for how long are they doing it? About a decade ago the Canadians did something progressive, they created the Ministry of Orgasms (MOO). The sole purpose was to track the number of orgasm and sexual experiences of Canadian citizens. We felt very privileged to have been asked to consult on the project with them. Citizens of age, were required to log their sexual experiences on the MOO website.

We developed the Conservation of Orgasms (a.k.a Belle’s Law after the lab assistant that help me test the theory) to increase duration and climax of each sexual experiences. We took the data collected and determined these three things.

One of the first things we determined was “The Sticky Flapjack” has made a comeback. This Canadian Sex act is mostly performed by Millennials in the Alberta, Canada region. However, people over the age of 50 have been starting to lather up the maple syrup and sticking between the sheets.

The next thing we determined was “The Newfoundland Lobster Trap” is a very time consuming Canadian Sex Act. In a related story, Canadian emergency rooms have reported an increase in nipple related injuries.

The best thing we found was “The Montreal Petting Zoo” is still open, but “The Beaver Dam” is where everyone likes to hangout. At least that is what the Zagat’s guide said.

Tune into our podcast were we discus each Canadian Sex Act in detail.

View the Interactive Map and Full Definitions