I woke up at 6:49— a.m. that is. After a twelve hour flight, a 6 hour time difference, and a bottle of decent wine I was surprised with my desire to pop up out of bed. I started a load of laundry and sat down to make a to-do list. The famous to-do list. It’s a habit of highly effective people, or something like that. It says, “I am goal oriented. I am getting things done!”. And my list was quite a fucking thing. I mean if I could put a check mark next to every item on this list I would be damn close to self-actualization. Tuition payments, email my ill grandmother, get a credit report.

This happens quite often after traveling. Especially after traveling and seeing my family. I always feel energized, inspired. They bring out something great in me. Which makes it painful when I return to my old habits which die oh so hard.

I live in Hawaii, the perfect place to do nothing with your life. Every day is a lot like the previous day. Which is fine if you are happy with yourself. And I am not. I drink too much. I am out of shape. I am distant from everyone.

But this is my last second chance! This time will be different. I’m eating better. I am thinking differently. I quit smoking ten days ago. I’m saving my money. Life can be better. If I can stay the course. Stay with it and focus on what is important I can turn this thing around. Which is all well and good. But this is both the most difficult part and the easiest part. The longest journey starts with the first step but it is easy to run in the right direction when your ass is on fire.

No the real challenge is to stay the course. Continue being the person you want to be until it becomes natural. It’s hard to shake a lifetime of half-ass living. But it’s never too late to start doing the right thing. M.L.K. said that. If it’s good enough for him I’m sure it is good enough for me.

I have missed so many second chances. This feels like it could be my penultimate shot at a new life. If there was ever a time, I think this is it.