#MeToo — Tracey’s Story
As the social movement of #MeToo is buzzing I can’t help but think of my own stories and experiences, still kept to myself. A dear friend, colleague, and one incredible woman whom I like to know shared her point of view and her story with me.
#MeToo told by Tracey Osborne
The movement for sexual assault/harassment awareness has taken the internet by storm. My feed is filled with #metoo stories. Brave women and men who have come forward to share that they too were at one time a victim.
Going public and letting the world know that you fell prey to a sexual predator is not an easy feat. It’s downright terrifying.
What will people think?
What if they say it’s my fault?
What if they feel differently about me knowing this?
What if your story saves someone’s life?
What if by coming forward and sharing your story, you give someone the courage they need to come forward and not only share their story, but put their predator behind bars?
Let me share mine…
My senior year of high school, I met and fell head over heels with an older man. I was 17, he was 25. But he was a good man, hardworking, and treated me really well.
When I turned 18, I moved in with him even though I was still in school.
We were good together.
The night of my Senior Prom, I remember being so thrilled I could wear the same dress I wore for my 8th grade graduation. I was still tiny.
He wore his Navy Whites. Drool. We definitely were a hot couple.
A group of us went to prom together and afterward we hung out at my place having a few drinks. When they all left, Handsome and I went to bed.
While we were doing our thing, something inside him snapped and he pinned me onto the bed on my stomach and ended up sodomizing me.
I remember crying and screaming, “No! Stop!”
Afterward he held me and apologized stating his, “animalistic urges” took over. Call it what you want but it was rape.
We broke up shortly after that. But I mentally blocked that night out for several years.
Being single again, I wanted to have fun. One night I was at a local casino and ran into some guys I knew from the bowling alley I worked at.
They were in their mid-20’s so they could buy me drinks. Eventually, we took the party back to their place.
The next morning, I woke up at their apartment fully dressed…except my underwear was filled with semen.
To this day I don’t know what happened, but I was obviously raped again since I was either too drunk to consent or passed out.
I never drank enough to black out again after that.
When I was pregnant with #2, I began dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He was so hot. Tall, thick, long black hair. I called him my Greek God. If only I knew what I was getting into.
One night he was really drunk and wanted to have sex. I told him no. He pulled me to the floor and tried to force me. So, I punched him. He was furious. He picked me up and slammed me down onto the floor…5 months pregnant.
He took off when I called the cops. They couldn’t find him but the officer who showed up actually had the audacity to tell me that I should not have punched him. What the hell was I supposed to do? Let him rape me? With my 3 year old nearby?
This is the mentality that #metoo is trying to change. The, “sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen” mindset. We’re tired of it being “our fault”. It’s not our fault…we didn’t ask to be abused, raped or harassed.
There are frightened, confused, and traumatized men, women, and children in this country and all over the world who have fallen prey to sexual predators. They are harassed at school and at work. They are bullied by their predators.
They are too frightened to come forward. Perhaps they were told that people they care about would be hurt. Perhaps they are afraid of the “what ifs” that follow.
Whatever their reason, someone has to speak for them. Someone has to stand up and say, “I’m not afraid to tell my story because IT WASN’T MY FAULT!”
Someone has to show them that they aren’t alone, that there is hope and that they are safe. Someone needs to tell them that they aren’t a victim. They are stronger than that. They are a survivor. They are a fighter. They are more powerful than their predator.
That someone is you. That someone is me.
Together, we can take a stand and let our voices be heard.
As, I sat and read through her story I am not so open with my own #MeToo story as I have more than one, I want to thank Tracey for sharing this with me and with the world. I am committed to writing my #MeToo story not sure if I will publish it but I love the message and the movement.
You’re an incredible and amazing woman Tracey!