Beginnings

So it appears I have actually started a blog. I have finally started something big(ish) in my life. Finally.

Buy why? Well, I guess there was a series of events leading up to this.

The first one probably was my cousin starting his blog last summer. Actually, let’s start even earlier. Freshman year of high school I took a podcasting elective. I made a podcast about CTY, the summer camp offered by Johns Hopkins that I was still super attached to at the time. My cousin (the older brother of the one who started the blog) had the idea that if I continued making podcasts centered around CTY, JHU might notice and give me a studio or something. Kind of hard to believe, but still an awesome thought. After that I wanted to keep making podcasts, but the crush of schoolwork and a general, long-standing sense of “I can’t do anything” resulted in that never actually happening. I did make a draft for one, but it’s never been recorded. It’ll appear on this blog though after some editing.

Fast forward to last summer when my cousin started a blog and I thought, “Hey, that’s a cool idea. I should do that.” But, again, general sense of “I can’t do things” and a reluctance to open another account to keep track of overruled the desire. Then came junior year, the kind-of-really-bad-hell in which I am taking a creative writing independent study class. My writing is incredibly sub-par and unsurprisingly has not won any competitions. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get sad about it sometimes, but after not placing in a recent competition I really wanted to win something in, I thought, “Not winning competitions doesn’t mean I can’t share my writing. Sharing it online might even help since I could get feedback from others.” So that edged me even further to taking the leap and starting a blog.

College and internship interviews are also on the horizon, and as a timid, soft-spoken person who does not form concrete thoughts quickly, the thought of having to talk about myself to a stranger is kind of terrifying. So as a way to fix that I thought I could start a vlog or a blog to try to learn how to put my jumbled thoughts into vaguely intelligible sentences. And so I have committed to starting a blog to publish my poetry, failed podcast transcripts, and any other stories I would like to share with the world.

Side note I actually started a WordPress account earlier in the year to use for a literature project, but I found it too confusing to use so it is sitting there, largely neglected. Then I discovered Medium after I started following someone who really changed my mindset on my life this January. After going through a few mentally-draining weeks, I said to myself, “Okay, February break I am starting a blog and I am going to post things.” And so here I am…

I’ve never been one to talk much (more on that later), but I’ve found over the years that it doesn’t mean I don’t have stories I want to tell. Now that I think about it I probably could have done that on my own, but there’s something more compelling about sharing my creative endeavors with the world (well, whoever happens to stumble upon this blog). So be prepared for probably unspectacular attempts at poetry and lengthy evaluations and explanations of myself and the events in my life. Hope to see you soon!