Training wheels for the 20-something.

James Suszynski
Aug 31, 2018 · 4 min read
Field Day at PNC Park. 8.27.2018

“Perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.” — Antoine de Saint Exuperys


As time passes I find myself wanting more and more to have less and less. I don’t think this comes as much from a desire for an end goal of being a textbook minimalist but rather from the simple fact that I genuinely need less and less. The countless “life-hacks” I found and made use of from the click-bait articles I’m bombarded with on a daily basis are no longer needed. The reason they get so many social shares and likes is that the information in them is so simple and universal it’s hard not to agree with. Finding little motivational shortcuts like that to help build discipline or cut out bad habits has its place, sure…however, I relate that to constantly handing someone starter fluid every time they need to build a fire. It works, yes, but is it sustainable? Teaching them how to build a fire requires more effort, but leaves them with a skill, not a hack.

I don’t rely on morning routines or fancy apps or new fangled systems to live my life. Just like I no longer use training wheels for my bicycle. I rely on myself.

I spent over $5,000 in the spring of 2017 to attend an Art of Charm boot-camp in North Hollywood, California. I didn’t have the money and I am still paying for it. I went because I honestly felt like it my last remaining option. It was a tough time for me and I was considering dropping out of university, among other rash decisions, all in effort to feel better.

I spoke with Jordan Harbinger on the phone for quite some time to deduce whether or not the program was for me. I was hesitant throughout but once I made my way to Hollywood, I needed to be all-in and get the most out of my “investment.”I had an absolute blast and learned a lot of helpful things about myself and my classmates. I made great friends with a few, one of which I share a city with who took me with him to the Pirates field day this past Monday. He is an accomplished individual earning over $500,000 per year saving people’s lives. After all of the exercises and theory and improv and writing we did, the biggest takeaway I had was this: I didn’t need to be there. I didn’t need to fly cross country, everything I need is already in me.

You don’t need to change who you are to change what you do.

I didn’t need to change who I was or find some “missing piece” to fit it all together. The things that made my friend respect me the way he did almost immediately, and the other guys in the program look up to me are the same things I’ve had in me all along. The same things that made me look up to and respect everyone I was there with.

And I’m certainly not special. I have spent a decent amount of time developing myself in areas such as philosophy, psychology, mathematics and health and wellness. These skills underlay everything in life and one could argue that philosophy along gives way to everything else and nothing exists without our minds to perceive it.

Before focusing on philosophy and psychology, I spent a lot on self-help books and programs that promised they were the ticket to your improvement and ultimate happiness. After ditching all of that, I realized that it’s all the same. The difference between a philosophical idea such as Stoicism or Buddhism and a self-help book is that the philosophy recognizes that what you need to improve is within you. It’s not within book number 2 or at the end of some affiliate link. You don’t need to change who you are to change what you do. You don’t need to change who you are to change how you think.

All of the hacks and systems that you supposedly need to get through your day without self-destructing are nothing but training wheels. They’re meant to build habits and be discarded; anything more and they become crutches that reinforce reliance beyond oneself. Forrest Gump ran out of his leg braces. He didn’t think he could until he had no other choice; they did their job and allowed him to grow beyond and be himself.

Most self-help gurus leave this step out. Why would they tell you that you don’t need their latest book, seminar, webinar or online course? They live and die by landing recurring revenue from repeat customers. Subscribers to their streams of guidance they think they can’t live without.

Far too often I come across people who have gotten a benefit from one of these things and are afraid to let them go. They’re afraid to take the training wheels off and skin their knees a few times.

That is what minimalism is to me.

Forcing reliance on myself rather than gizmos and gadgets or life-hacks and systems. Build a solid foundation that allows you to stand on your own. Don’t prop yourself up with some fancy looking braces because what happens when they fail?

I’m all for having a morning routine, but what happens when life happens and shit hits the fan. Now you can’t meditate for 20 minutes or write or do you breathing exercises or whatever it is that you do to have a good day? What if you have a big meeting or a job interview that day? Like the great Mike Tyson once said: Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

Then what?

James Suszynski

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humble philosophy of everyday living

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