things that i will never tell you.
from these past years, i was like this, i never told anybody, i don’t know if you will ever see this, my friends, my family, people who know me, i don’t think i will be able to tell them this.
- i am always lost
i am drowning in the different thoughts, many many thoughts mostly sad and deep thoughts about the life that i have, the things i might done about everything.
- i am lonely
i am always lonely, i know i may seem happy, outgoing, funny, crazy outside but deep deep inside i was longing for someone to make me feel complete, to make me feel happy, i am lonely of that love that i will never get. i kept being lonely but nobody knew i was lonely. nobody.
- i am suicidal
yes, i’m sorry to tell you but i often get that thoughts to jump in a building or cross the street while the stop lights says stop, i want to go and see my body flying around, i have thoughts of being hit by a trailer truck, i wanted to disappear, i wanted to get away from this place where i can be something new again. i don’t think its here. anywhere here.
- i’m still confused.
i don’t know who i really am, my friends and family knows that i’m gay but i’m not i don’t know who i am, i am worthless i am nothing i’m just a piece of cake that everyone wants to consume but never appreciate. i was just that guy who is keeps on searching for the answers but i haven’t found it yet.
i want to try to disappear just for the people to know and see my worth. i really really feel empty and i don’t know how to get over it.