How to be Brave when you don’t want to be brave at all.
Like many of us I’m sure you have had your moments where you don’t really want to be brave but life means that you have to be. Going somewhere because someone you love would like to go there, taking a step in your career because you have to rather than because you want to. Confrontation when someone wrongs us …. there is always going to be moments where we don’t want to do something.
But what about when you have to do something? How can you fake bravery until you feel it? Here are my thoughts on the matter:
Keep your reasons for doing something clear.
As you can imagine I’ve been in the midst of change. I know in my heart of hearts that although I hate being brave and facing change head on I have to do exactly what I am doing to find my happiness.
When these moments of doubt creep in I try to make sure that I take a step back before doing something I may regret. Stepping back from the fear of change I remind myself of my reasons for the change.
- Because what I’m doing doesn’t speak to my soul.
- Because my future doesn’t look the way it should if I stay on the wrong track.
- Because I’m not happy.
Giving yourself a short, sharp burst of remembrance is often enough to get you back on track.
A reality check.
“Just because something is right, won’t make it easy”
My own experiences with change have rarely been easy transitions. With the quickness of our lives it’s all too simple to assume that we should just get what we want without doing the work to back it up, however, I realise more and more that the best things in life don’t come with a click of a button. Instead, they come with work, and that work means being realistic with yourself.
To change, is to be brave and to be brave you have to be prepared to work for the outcome you want. You can’t buy happiness or have it guaranteed just because you’d like it that day.
You can only change, when you work to make it happen.
Look back, just don’t go that way.
In the midst of big decisions and being brave there is always a moment where you think about the easy way out.
You think if I go back to the old way then it will be easier. I can succeed at that. But the thing is, maybe you could succeed at it quicker, but it’s not going to make you very happy in the end right?
What I’m saying here is this, don’t repeat old mistakes because its easier, after all, you’re not going that way so stop trying to step backward.
Forward is the only way to be brave and to make change.
Bravery in conclusion.
There’s something to be said for actually learning bravery. I think it’s easy to be considered a trait you either have or you don’t. (Are you a Hufflepuff or a Griffindor?) but honestly, I think we all have the capacity to learn bravery.
In fact being brave means activity trying to be that way. Any of us can be brave, its an act we have to practice to be good at and ultimately that’s how we overcome the fear.
When you don’t want to be brave is exactly the moment where we need to practice being braver than we feel. Put our best feet forward, take the plunge and remember this: you only have to be brave when you are doing the right thing. If it doesn’t feel brave perhaps its too easy for you after all.