I’ve taken the position that it is fine to call me “he” since I know that ‘he’ [=me] can wear dresses! And in the act of calling me ‘he’, and also knowing at least this about me, people will think more broadly about what ‘he’ means.

That said, intersex people don’t fall neatly into ‘he’ or she biologically, and we can all benefit from reducing the suggestion of gender-related expectations by not referring to gender at all, since it is not really useful.

After reading your article, I’ve changed my mind about what felt like a forced use of ‘they’. I now like the multiplicity of ‘they’, as it speaks poetically of the many faces of each of us, and doesn’t try to remix ‘he’ and ‘she’ as some of the other newly minted pronouns do. I suggest we just change ‘they’ to ‘zey’, ‘them’ to ‘zem’- easy to say, warm in feeling, and a nice evolution of familiar language.