A Ponder

It’s dawned on me in the recent events when asked “What do you have plans for your life for the coming future?”, that perhaps I may have none. I’ve been so entrapped in my comfort zone of being in the same industry that I’ve forgotten what it’s lime to branch out to better horizons.

I used to be able to remove those fears and take the leap of faith to try something new. A new adventure whether in sports, career as well as life. Ever since entering my 30s I’ve allowed fear to steep in my life.

It’s taken time for me to work on myself. The last “hit” almost shattered me. It took the biggest chunk out of my life. Time and time again I’ve given myself room to breathe but this time around I felt that I would never arise from the ashes. I hit a breaking point where I believed was my last straw.

It’s been months, time has passed, still working on myself day after day, little by little at a time. Losing your edge makes you doubt yourself just a teensy bit. I allowed that doubt engulf my entirety. Now, 9 months later, I feel I can breathe a little more again.

Going through a loss takes time to heal from. Allowing the loss to engulf me, was the biggest mistake I could have ever made to myself. I rise, rising from the ashes. Blowing the debree that has covered me. Laying lightly on me yet heavily weighing me down.

It’s time to take a step forward again, to be able to branch out of my comfort zone. After 15 years being in the industry I’m well familiar with, I want to take a step out and leave what made me, ME, AND into something better. I’ve hit the highest mark in my industry. I’d like to be able to take that experience and run with it in a different direction. Something that helps not just business owners but people breaking into the field.

The dream; to own something solely mine through sweat blood and tears. Hard work. Smart decisions. Expansion. Growth. Betterment. Achievement.

I once read somewhere “If your dreams doesn’t scare you, you’re not dreaming big enough”. And what I want scares the hell out of me. How does one remove fear from holding them back? Do I take that leap of faith? It’s a question I’ve had for the last 2 years to ponder on.

We take our time because we need the room to breathe. We may not know what the future holds, but we can certainly try to push ourselves to the best we can. A day at a time.

-relyk penn-