Loneliness I Remember
A Poem
Loneliness is so familiar so complete
Kneeling on the bed I hold my knuckles
To my thin skinned face
Against the nubby bumpy bones and
Breathe into my hands
Over this place
An unending shape shushes out
A great grey blanket
Across the town village city landscape
A great never-hearted space of time
With buildings roads trees parks and houses
Like yesterday I hold my forearms to me
Close my eyes and press my knuckles
To the metal door
See up close the condensation of droplets
Drifting down the icy inside
I lean against it
The threadbare me inside
A hundred or thousand or myriad phantoms without
With extra pressure
The door inches open
I take a big shallow breath ready for
Daylight to smack my eyelids and
Not warm my face or arms one glint
As yesterday
I climb down onto the earth concrete
Drop my arms to my scallop waist holds
Squint out so bright so cold so
See through
And wander
At night I climb back up
Curl in on my place
My head lies on merely warm hands
A flat prayer
Between my pillow and face
Clench my eyes
Seize up my feelings
Loneliness is the cruellest famine of all
