Hello, my name is Danielle…

“… Skonieski.” “Yes, Ski.” “S-K-O-N-I-E-S-K-I.” “No, I didn’t steal the identity of a middle-aged Polish woman with great credit!” “SMH, why are you asking to see my identification when you’ve not asked for anyone else’s?” “Hmm, when did restaurants start carding for credit card purchases?” “How dare I have a Polish name and on an American Express at that?!” “No, I was not adopted!” “Hell no, I’m not Polish!” “Do you know any black Polish people?!” “Nope, never been to Pole Town.” “I don’t even eat Pirogies and I don’t cook cabbage.”

Sigh. It’s funny to think about how many crazy questions I’d get before someone would ask if I were actually married to a Polish man. As if that weren’t a possibility at all. Skonieski. Danielle Nicole-Brintley Skonieski, to be exact. I’d always loved being a Brintley, so much so that I didn't want to give up the name after I got married. I mean who the hell was Danielle Skonieski, anyway? Boy, I really disliked that name… but I loved my husband. I’m not just saying that now because we’re getting a divorce. Craig knows good and well that I hated the name. I fought him until the bitter end to either not take it or for him to be okay with me hyphenating. He wasn’t down for either, so I let him win and I gave in … which I didn't really do because I never let it go. Anytime we got into a fight, which wasn’t as often as you may think, I would threaten to change my name.

My name is Danielle … Nicole Motley and I’m back for the first, or better yet the second time! Although it’s not yet official, it feels really good to be a Motley again. I’ll be honest with you, I wasn’t too keen on the name growing up as I was all too eager to change my name to Brintley when my parents got married. Thankfully, or not, for my divorce and another chance at life, it’s time to resurrect the Artist Formerly Known as Miss. Motley.

So, why am I not going back to my maiden name, Brintley? There are so many reasons that I will share over the course of our time together. Last week I shared this news with one of my brothers. He laughed out loud for what seemed like an eternity and said “But Brintley is YOUR name!” I simply responded by saying “No. It really isn’t. Not anymore. Brintley no longer resonates with me, not the way Motley does.” Me choosing to go back to Motley instead of Brintley doesn't at all mean that I’m disowning anyone. I don’t have the time or energy for that. Ambrose is still my father and forever will be … until of course, he disowns me after reading my book! But that’s a subject for a much later post ;)

After Craig and I separated last year, it became more and more difficult for me to answer to his last name. I spent a great deal of time thinking, praying and crying about my life and what I wanted in the future. I questioned why I’d gotten married. I questioned many of my choices, but most of all I questioned who I was. Who was I, if not a Skonieski? Who was I, if not a Brintley? After months and months and months of soul searching it just hit me one day, “I am a Motley.” It was in that moment that I had the clearest understanding of my life’s purpose and why it was important for me to go back to the Motley name. It was that revelation, and many many others that inspired me to start journaling and later write a blog. I’d previously given myself a few earlier dates to launch this blog, but it had to feel right in my spirit. After a week of fighting the flu, it feels right now.

This blog, which I’ve titled ‘The Repressed Rebel’ will allow you the opportunity to see me in a very different light. In this space, I will be completely open, to learning, to sharing, and to growing. What I’ve endured over the last year, the lessons I’ve learned and continue to learn, are too good not to share. If nothing else, I will continue my healing, cleansing, and self discovery process, while honing my writing skills; however, it’s my goal to share my experiences, my pain, my healing, my joy and my discoveries with all of you. If my experiences will cause you to laugh, to cry, to get mad, to question or merely reflect, then I’ve succeeded.

So, there is the reason for my blog, there is the reason for my name, this is who I am. I hope you enjoy your time with me. I look forward to connecting with each and every one of you.

Xo, DNM